


All I've Ever Needed

by frozenmorningdew



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF, Valdaya
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3206924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozenmorningdew/pseuds/frozenmorningdew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zendaya meets the new boy in school. His name is Valentin Chmerkovskiy, he's from New York and from Zendaya's perspective, he's absolutely insufferable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is an AU. A high school story. I know nothing about how high school works so I'll be using google a lot and also my own junior college experience.  
> Zendaya is a junior in the story and Val is a senior.

  **May 19, 2015**

 

I’m not really into flashbacks and reminiscing. I like living life in the moment. Life doesn’t offer regrets, only lessons and that’s how I’ve lived my life. My very short life. But you know what, I’ll make an exception for you. I mean, there’s a reason why you’re here. You want to know me. You want to know about me. You’re interested in my life, although I can’t really understand why. It’s always been pretty mundane. Well, It was before I met **him**. Let me tell you a bit about myself before you start snooping around in my memories. I am Zendaya Coleman. I’m a senior at the Palisades High School in Los Angeles. Yeah, I live in L.A. Lucky me right?  

I’m a good student. I have a keen interest in social studies and English but my true passion has always been in the visual and performing arts. Drama, music, you name it. I was never that much of a dancer, unless you count hip-hop. Which most people don’t. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here.

I’ve never been the most popular student in school but I’ve always worked well with what I’ve been given. I’m stubborn, ambitious, cautious, dependable. A true friend to those who take the time to get to know me. Am I describing myself in a way that is appealing to you? Would you like to know more? The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly? I know why you want my story. And I’ll start you off with the day I met  **him**.

 

**September 20, 2013**

 

“That’s not a solution for math. That’s some sort of a spell by numbers.”

“Very funny Spencer. Excuse me while I choke on your wit.”

“Hey! You asked me to tutor you. And I graciously said yes. It’s not my fault that you  **suck. so. bad**.”

“I have dyscalculia.”

_She saw Spencer looking at her like he would a two-headed dog._

“It’s a real thing. It’s like dyslexia but with numbers… Stop looking at me like that!”

 _She cracked a smile as he started grinning. That picture perfect movie star grin of his. Spencer had been one of the first to befriend her when she was a freshman. She had, of course, immediately signed up for the drama club and Spencer was one of the stars. He was tall, extremely handsome, smart and popular. Still, her_   _association with him didn’t rub off. She didn’t become popular just by being his friend. She didn’t become popular at all. And she liked it that way. She had her circle of friends; Dom, Deja and Trevor. They all shared the same interests. She liked having a_   _small but trustworthy group of friends._

_She saw Spencer’s fingers moving inches way from her face. She had zoned out. Again._

“You’re not gonna do that in your audition, are you? I didn’t spend valuable time training you only for you to go down in a blaze of glory.”

“I’m not a seal, you didn’t train me. You helped me realize my potential. And stop squeezing Bon Jovi song titles into every conversation.”

“Never! It’s my life. Have a little faith in me.”

“Oh my god stooooooop.”

 “Jon is the ultimate artist. A singer, songwriter, actor.”

“That hair though.”

“Don’t diss the mullet.”

“How is it that you’re as popular as you are?”

“It’s a mystery isn’t it? I’ve gotta go. I’m gonna go outside and lay down in a bed of roses.”

“Dork.”

“See ya Deer.”

_He winked at her and walked through the door of the classroom they had occupied themselves in. Watching him walking away pinched at her heart. They didn’t get a lot of moments together, where it was just the two of them. Someone always surrounded him. Friends, admirers, you name it._

_She knew it was highly illogical to have a crush on one of her friends, especially an older, popular, way out of her league friend who had every girl, and lets face it, some of the faculty, throwing themselves at him. But she couldn’t help it. He just had that something-something. That “je ne sais quoi.”_

_Zendaya had never had a crush before and for years she thought something was wrong with her. But this had been instantaneous.  
He had been the first person to say hi to her when she walked into the drama club, looking like a deer caught in headlights. _

_That’s what he called her. Deer. In her head it was dear but the way he said it, like she was this cute, little & irritable thing, made her realize that it was just deer. A funny and cute nickname filled with brotherly affection. She just hoped that these feelings would subside and if they wouldn’t … Well, this was his last year at the school. He’d be gone soon and then she wouldn’t have to see him everyday._

_The bell rang and Zendaya grabbed her things, making her way to one of her favorite elective classes, psychology. As she walked into the classroom, she noticed that her usual seat had been moved to make way for a table and a chair. A new student?_

“Take your seats everyone, we have an exciting lesson today: Sigmund Freud vs. Carl Jung, the master and the pupil.”

_The groans around the room could probably be heard around the whole school._

“Now, before we start I wanna ask Valentin Chmerkovskiy… Valentin? Where did he go?”

  _Zendaya looked at the door just as a boy walked through. A boy? He looked like a man. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a photo of a girl on it. It looked quite retro. He had on blue pants. On his head was a beanie that the teacher immediately told him to take off. When he did she saw that his hair was gelled to infinity. He had a bit of a beard, which was a rarity for the boys in the school. As she stared at his face she suddenly caught his eyes. Green like emeralds. And now those same eyes were staring right into hers, like they were staring through her skin straight into her soul. This boy was a contradiction. Hipster from the neck down, pretty boy from the neck up, with eyes that exposed more than he probably wanted._

“Valentin is a …”

“Val.”

“Right. Val is a new student. He’s a senior and is transferring here from …”

_The teacher frantically looked through the papers in her hand trying to find the answer._

“New York. I’m from New York.”

“Yes. Of course. Do you have anything you would like to say to your new friends?”

_Zendaya could see Val struggling not to roll his eyes._

“I’m good.”

“Alright. Not much of a talker I see. That doesn’t matter. Our class is all about the mind. Take a seat, we put one right next to Zendaya. Raise you hand Zendaya.”

_She raised her hand without even thinking and felt a little embarrassed when she saw him looking at her with a bored expression. He sat down next to her and she noticed that he didn’t have a notebook or any sort of stationery._

“You’re gonna need this. For notes.”

_She handed him a piece of paper and a pencil. He looked at her for a moment and then grabbed the things from her._

“I’m not much of a note kind of guy though.”

“Well, this is definitely a note kind of class so you better change your way of learning. And normally people say thanks when given any kind if help.”

“I never need any help." 

_He smirked at her and she felt her cheeks heating up. He was insufferable, she could already tell that this was going to be a long semester._

“So, what kind of a class is this? I’ve already finished all of my core classes so I’m basically just doing electives. I just put a cross next to a bunch of shit so I don’t really know what I’m getting myself into.”

“We’re not supposed to talk during lectures.”

_She saw him raise his eyebrows and opening his mouth before turning his attention to the person on his other side, a perky blonde cheerleader named Coral Brigitte._

“Am I going to be seated here for the rest of the semester?”

 _She heard Coral giggle, probably batting her eyelashes while responding with a yes in a baby voice. How dreadful she was. She could hear the glee in his voice when he responded back_.

“Well, at least I don’t have stale bread on both of my sides.”

  _Yes. This was going to be a long semester._

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**September 30, 2013**

 

_Zendaya stared at the clock, impatiently waiting for the bigger hand to hit 12 so the bell would ring. She hadn't been able to concentrate during the whole class. It was mostly due to her anxiety. After school she would be auditioning for the part of Ariel Moore in the school's production of Footloose. The lead female part. She had never auditioned for a lead part before and for the past couple of days she had felt like her whole world was closing in on her. She wasn't shy and she didn't have stage fright. She had the utmost confidence in her ability. It was Spencer._

_Spencer was auditioning for the part of Ren. Spencer was a shoe-in for the part. There was no one else in the whole school that even came close to him. He had the voice, the dance ability, the acting chops. He was the whole package. And that was the problem. Zendaya didn't know if she was auditioning because of the experience it would give her, or because she wanted to act against him. A dilemma had formed in her mind. You see, Ariel was Ren's love interest. So there would be a lot of closeness, some kissing. Zendaya was 16 yet she had never kissed anyone before. And she wanted Spencer to be her first kiss but not while they were pretending to be somebody else. But when it came down to it, there was no one in this world that she wanted to get that part more than him. He was a star and everyone could see it._

_She was startled out of her thoughts by a girlish giggle. Ms. Koolen, the art teacher, was fawning over someone. Oh, that someone was Val. The boy from New York who seemed to pop up in whatever class Zendaya was in. Well, four of them. She didn't really understand what he was doing most of the time. He didn't seem to show any interest in anything regarding the subjects they were in. He never faltered though. Every time a teacher called him on he would just flash that smirk, disguised as a grin, and somehow charm himself out of every question, every situation that was presented to him._

_He had an overpowering presence. It was like everyone who laid eyes on him became immediately mesmerized and everything else disappeared. She didn’t see it though. She had spent the last 40 minutes desperately trying to get the right contrast of light and shadow on her drawing of a bowl of fruit while the rest of the class practically gasped in amazement over his drawing. It couldn’t be that good. She wasn’t going to look._

_She didn’t understand this reaction she had whenever he was around. Or not even around. She had spent last weekend finding adjectives that could describe how unbearable she found him. She had stopped at 50 words. He vocabulary wasn’t substantial enough to express her annoyance towards him. But why?_

_The bell finally rang and Zendaya hurriedly packed her belongings into her bag. As she walked into the corridor she felt a presence besides her. Just great._

"You disappear very fast, did you know that?"

"I'm a busy person with a lot to do. I don't have time to  …"

"Stop and smell the roses?"

"Fawn over tedious things."

"Ouch. I guess you're going to that audition thing now. I thought that wasn't until 4:30."

_Zendaya stopped in her tracks and spun so that she was face to face with him._

"How did you know about my audition?"

"You were talking about it with your friend. The blonde, loud one."

"Were you listening to my private conversation?"

"No. Your loud friend was talking very loudly, very closely to me. She kept looking at me too. But that’s normal. I’ve seen the selection of boys here. It’s not a very L.A. looking crowd, is it?"

_Zendaya felt quite offended on the behalf of her classmates._

"I’ll have you know that there are many very handsome boys at this school."

_She scanned the corridor until she saw a boy called Derek._

"Like him for example."

_She nodded her head towards the blonde that looked like he belonged in a surf shop down in Santa Monica. Val looked at him and grimaced._

"He looks kind of waspy."

"Waspy?"

"Yeah, like a wasp. It’s a fly."

"I hate flies."

_A small smile grazed Val's lips._

"Are we bonding right now? Because I really wasn’t prepared for this very open conversation were having. Hostility is kind of your thing."

"It is not."

"Well, maybe our thing."

"We don’t have anything."

_Val let out a little laugh and she saw his eyes twinkle._

"You don't let a lot of people near you." 

"Excuse me?"

"You're very resistive. Withstanding. Hard to crack."

"I understand English."

"Well you should with that big ass thesaurus you carry around everywhere with you."

_Zendaya looked down at her arms, which were wrapped around said big ass book._

"It's essential to have a varied vocabulary."

"It makes you slouch."

_She looked at him with apprehension, not knowing if he was making fun of her or actually, and creepily, worrying about her posture._

"I have to go."

"Maybe I'll see you at the auditions. I need a good laugh."

_And with that Zendaya's cheeks started heating with anger. She turned on her feet and walked away, as quickly as she could. A minute longer in his presence would only make her blood boil over._

\--------------------------------

"Very good Spencer. You truly set the bar high for everyone. Keep up the good work."

_Zendaya beamed as Spencer got his praise. He walked off stage and winked at her while mouthing good luck. They had already done their scene reading and now only the song audition was left._

"Who is next on stage? Aah Zendaya, we're ready for you."

_The director, Mrs. Hooper was a kind woman in her 50's with broken aspirations of directing high-profile films. Apparently Hollywood chews you up and spits you out if you're a woman who wants to direct._

"What will you be singing for us today?" 

"I wanted to have that 80's feeling, since the play does take place in that time period. So I'm going to be singing "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston." 

_She saw Mrs. Hooper smiling at her._

"As an 80's teen I applaud you for that song choice. Whenever you're ready."

_Zendaya nodded her head and the auditorium was filled with an up-tempo beat. She wanted to play a part so she swayed her hips and flipped her hair all while belting out a version that would have gotten a standing ovation by Whitney herself._

"Brava! Zendaya, you have grown so much since the last time you were up here. I see great potential in you. I think you're going to be happy with my final decision regarding the casting."

_Zendaya smiled thankfully towards Mrs. Hooper. She looked over the auditorium. No Val in sight. This day did have potential after all._

“Now, seeing as Zendaya was the last audition I think I can safely say ...”

_All of a sudden she stopped speaking and Zendaya saw how the assistant director was talking in a hushed tone with her._

"Well, well. It seems as though we have a late caller. Is there a Valentin Chmerkovskiy here?

_Suddenly Zendaya heard his voice._

"It's just Val."

_He walked from the back of the stage, where the curtains were drawn._

"Well, just Val. I am ready to hear your audition. Do you have a monologue ready?"

"I do. I took a part of the play though so I need some assistance. Maybe Zendaya could help me? She is auditioning for the part of Ariel so that would fit perfectly."

_That evil, up to no good smirk was cemented on his face._

"Of course she can. It's good practise. What part will you be reading? 

"The part where Ren is trying to convince the Reverend that dance isn't all that bad."

"Then you need a Reverend. Spencer, would you do the honours?"

Spencer looked dumbfounded but managed to croak out a yes.

"Great. Start when you're ready."

_Spencer started the scene, looking quite uncomfortable with the whole thing. He stumbled a couple of times and Zendaya felt sorry for him. He wasn't used to not being in the spotlight._

_All of a sudden Val started. It was a transformation. Before her eyes stood someone who was passionate. Someone who believed every line that stood on that piece of paper. Someone who made her believe every line on that paper. Was this the same boy as the one in her classes? The one who had never shown any interest in anything besides talking through the whole class and making snide remarks about every topic._

_She faltered a bit when her part came on but quickly managed to pick herself up again. She saw how Val was itching closer to her. There's was a thumping in her chest, one that she couldn't understand. Why was he so close? Her breathing became a bit erratic. And then she stopped. There were no more lines. It was just her standing, clutching the script in her hand and him, standing right in front of her._

_Zendaya snapped out of her daze and moved a couple of steps back. She looked at Spencer who had a confused look on his face. When she looked out into the auditorium she saw her fellow students whispering between themselves and Mrs. Hooper peering her eyes at the two of them._

"Interesting"  _was the only reaction Mrs. Hooper gave._

"I have made my decision. Being a director is all about taking chances.Val, you are able to sing, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't be here if couldn't."

"Yes... Yes... Very well, Zendaya, congratulations you are Ariel!"

_Zendaya let out a shriek and ran into Spencer's arms. She was beyond elated, this was everything she had ever wanted._

"I feel this in my bones and that is the reason I'm doing this. Val, congratulations. **You are Ren**." 

_And with those 3 words, Zendaya’s dreams shattered around her._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zendaya meets the new boy in school. His name is Valentin Chmerkovskiy, he's from New York and from Zendaya's perspective, he's absolutely insufferable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is an AU. A high school story. I know nothing about how high school works so I'll be using google a lot and also my own junior college experience.  
> Zendaya is a junior in the story and Val is a senior.

**October 6, 2013**

 

_Zendaya sat on her bed, a sketchbook situated on her lap. Her fingers were messy, with different shades of coals smudging the white paper and leaving permanent marks. She was drawing a rose. A beautiful flower that is full of contradictions, known for being both delicate and strong. Her mother often said the same of Zendaya. That she was full of contradictions. She was strong willed and passionate, delicate and insecure. That she was a force to be reckoned with but also that she had a softer side. A side she never allowed anyone to see. A version of herself that she tried to hide behind a mask. She was a rose that had yet to blossom._

_Her mind wandered to the past week. 6 days had passed since she had been chosen as the lead in the school musical, something she had dreamt about for years. Nothing should be able to bring her down. This was her moment but if there was one thing Zendaya had learned it was that nothing was ever perfect. If Zendaya was a rose, Val Chmerkovskiy was the thorn in her side. A cocky, devil-may-care ass with an absolutely unintelligible New York accent. She had had a hard time understanding what he was saying all week in rehearsals and that wasn’t a good thing since he was playing the other lead character. She knew he was playing it up, trying to make her angry. Trying to make her so upset that she’d make a fool of herself in front of the other students and Mrs. Hooper. But she wasn’t gonna let that happen. She wasn’t gonna let him win. She had wanted Spencer to get the part. She knew it was mostly for selfish reasons. She loved Spencer. She had thought that maybe she would’ve been able to get closer to him if they were both playing the lead parts. That maybe he would start looking at her the way she had spent the last two years looking at him. She knew thinking about this was pointless. She laid the sketchbook on her nightstand and crawled under the covers. It was Monday tomorrow. Another day of rehearsals would be upon her soon and she really needed to be well rested another round of ‘battle of the wits’ as Val had nicknamed their interactions in rehearsals. Tomorrow was going to be a good day. She could forget about everything when she was singing and dancing. She could forget about her pain._

**October 7, 2013**

 

 _The bell rang and Zendaya slowly picked up her math book. Rehearsals would start in 5 minutes but her chest was filled heavy with dread and she silently prayed for any reason not to go. Her prayers were answered but not in a good way. As she was about to leave the classroom a voice called after her._    
  
“Zendaya, would you mind talking to me a bit?”  
  
 _Zendaya turned around and headed in the direction of her math’s teacher, a young man named Colin Platt. According Coral and her gang he was the hottest teacher in the whole school, which frankly wasn’t difficult. The school was overflowing with overweight, bald and fashionably challenged teachers so Zendaya could understand the obsession with Mr. Platt. She just didn’t see it herself.  
  
_ “What is it Mr. Platt?”  _She smiled, trying to make it seem like she didn’t know what was going on but she knew. She knew her work had been even more horrible lately and she knew that it was only a matter of time until Mr. Platt would have that talk with her_.   
  
“Well, first of all I want to praise you for the work you’ve put in these past few weeks. I know you’ve been working with Spencer, -that he’s been tutoring you-, and it’s paid off …”  
  
 _Zendaya could smell the ‘but’ coming.  
  
_ “,,, but this past week has been, how should I say this .. Frankly, you’ve declined and your work is getting even worse than it was in the beginning of the semester.”  
  
 _Zendaya’s face fell. She knew she hadn’t been handing in her best work but she had not realized how bad it had truly gotten.  
  
_ “I know you’re participating in the school musical. And my concern is that it’s too much for you. You’re extremely talented, I’m a theater enthusiast myself and I’ve sneaked into the rehearsals a couple of times. You’re doing a wonderful job.”  
  
 _He smiled reassuringly and looked straight into her eyes_    
  
“I’m not going to urge you to quit.”  
  
 _Zendaya let out a breath that she had been holding in for what seemed like hours and allowed her head to slump down so she was staring at the ground.  
  
_ “You have to improve though. You have to learn how to organize yourself. You’re not a bad student. You get good grades in other classes I know this. Math is just a bit more difficult for you, like it is for countless others.”  _He stopped talking and Zendaya could feel his eyes staring at her_. “Unless I’m misunderstanding this whole situation and there’s something else going on. Something that you might want to tell me?”  
  
 _Zendaya’s head snapped back up and she plastered on her fake smile._

  
“No, everything you’ve been saying is correct. I’ve been so obsessed with the musical that I’ve neglected everything else. I just want .. I just need this to work out. This is what I want to do, for the rest of my life.”   
  
“Then do it. Just do other things as well. Concentrate on building a multitude of skills; don’t fixate on just one thing. Deal?”   
  
“Deal.”  
  
 _He put out his hand for a shake and Zendaya took it.  
  
_ “See you Wednesday Mr. Platt.”  
  
“Looking forward to it Ms. Coleman”  
  
 _Zendaya walked quickly down the corridor. She was about 15 minutes late to rehearsals and she knew Mrs. Hooper would not be happy about it. She thought about what Mr. Platt had said to her. She had to do better. She couldn’t let the things in her life affect her opportunities. She couldn’t let anyone know what was going on. She didn’t want sympathy. She didn’t need sympathy. She didn’t everyone knowing.  
  
_ _As she pushed open the heavy door that led to the auditorium she heard music. But it wasn’t the regular 80’s pop/rock that had been filling that space for the past week. It was instrumental. It was classical. As she looked at the stage she saw the cast and crew dancing. Open mouthed she stared at the goings on, watching as Val swayed with confidence all over the stage leading Mrs. Hooper with him. Unfortunately, that same annoying boy quickly noticed her.  
  
_ “Congratulations on finally making it to rehearsals. You look really unattractive with your mouth open like that."  
  
 _All she could hear was the giggle of Coral, who had signed up for wardrobe and make-up but had still managed to do nothing except hang off Val for the entire week. Spencer must have seen how narrow her eyes had gotten because all of a sudden he jumped off the stage and came up next to her.  
  
_ “Hey deer! You should’ve been here earlier, this was a blast.”  
  
 _Zendaya could see Val looking at her from the corner of her eye, a look of quiet confusion on his face. She quickly put on her mask.  
  
_ “I should have been her earlier? To do … whatever it is that you were doing?"  
  
“It’s called ballroom dancing.”  _Zendaya turned her body away from Spencer’s so she was in a straight line against Val, her hands folded neatly over her chest.  
  
_ “It’s partner dances first documented in the 16th century in the upper high class society.”  
  
 _Zendaya looked at him like he’d grown a second head while Coral and her friends, Heather D. and Heather C., literally swooned at his feet.  
  
_ “You’re so smart Val” Coral drawled while gripping his bicep.  
  
 _Val didn’t seem to notice the quite bold move on her part because he kept eye contact with Zendaya.  
  
_ “No, I just try stuff before I knock it.”  _He winked at Zendaya before turning on his heel and heading backstage.  
  
_ _Coral gave Zendaya a nasty look while she just stood there, hoping the innuendo had flown past Spencer. No such luck.  
  
_ “Is there something going on with you two?”  
  
 _Zendaya practically gasped at Spencer’s question._  “What are you talking about? Was that a serious question?”  
  
“Hey calm down Z, save the theatrics for the stage okay? I just got a weird vibe that’s all. He definitely seems interested though and he’s a fun guy. Maybe you should be a little bit more open to him, ya know. I don’t want you to be a spinster forever, I need you to go on double dates with me with all the double D’s I’m gonna get when I get famous”  
  
 _He winked at her while Zendaya could hear the cracks forming in her heart. That had been such a casual observation. **He likes you, no big deal**. Spencer really didn’t care at all.  
  
_ _She turned away from him as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She left him standing there while she went backstage. He had struck up a conversation with one of the girls in the supporting cast and didn’t even notice her walking away. She sat down on the floor, between two large stacks of crates that were occupied by costumes and hopefully obstructed her from view. As she quietly held her sniffling face in her hands, she could feel a presence beside her. She could smell the faint scent of sweat and honey. It stung her nose a little. She peeked through her fingers and let out a resolute sigh when she saw who it was.  
  
_ _Val sat down so he was half next to her while still being able to look at her face.  
  
_ _Zendaya rubbed her eyes and used her jeans to dry the tears from her hands.  
  
_ “Why are you always near me?”  
  
Val cocked his head a little, squinting his eyes a bit, like he as trying to find an answer. “You soothe me."  
  
 _Zendaya looked warily at him, knowing that he was making fun of her.  
  
_ _Val could sense her reaction._  “I’m being serious. You’re extremely annoying, you’re a know-it-all without actually knowing it all, you think you’re better than everyone else and you take things way too seriously. You’re sad and you’re fake.”  
  
 _Zendaya’s mouth was open and she looked like smoke was about to come out of her ears._

 _  
_“You’re fake because none of the things I just said are the real you. I can see you. I can sense you. Your presence is … Overwhelming. It’s like you’re a scent that fills every crevice of this building. When you’re not trying to be someone you’re not, when you’re just the girl that sits next to me in class, you’re soothing. And that’s why I seek you out. I don’t know why you’re sad but maybe one day you’ll tell me. Yeah I’m pretty sure one day you will tell me.”  
  
 _Zendaya wanted nothing more than to say something but she couldn’t. She was speechless. For the first time in her life, Zendaya Coleman could not say a word.  
  
_ “It’s also really enjoyable bugging you.”  
  
 _Zendaya smiled and shook her head when Val burst out laughing.  
  
_ “But the real reason I came here is because you were 15 minute late to rehearsals and now that my wonderful and charming dancing has stopped Mrs. Hooper is getting quite impatient and I was supposed to find you.”  _He stood up and reached for her hand, pulling her up to him.  
  
_ “Where did you learn to dance like that?”  
  
 _He put on an extremely bad French accent_  “Ah but Ms. Zendaya! I will only tell you my secrets when I trust you well enough!”  _He walked ahead of her, strutting like a catwalk model while Zendaya walked a bit behind him.  
  
_ “Oh really Mr. Valentin, and when will that be?”  
  
 _He stopped and turned around, looking deeply into her eye  
  
_ “When _you_  learn to trust  _me_.”  
  
 _And with those words he ran onto the stage, bursting into a rendition of Footloose leaving Zendaya more confused than ever._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zendaya meets the new boy in school. His name is Valentin Chmerkovskiy, he's from New York and from Zendaya's perspective, he's absolutely insufferable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is an AU. A high school story. I know nothing about how high school works so I'll be using google a lot and also my own junior college experience.  
> Zendaya is a junior in the story and Val is a senior.
> 
> This chapter is basically a filler one but I promise it will get better!

**October 8, 2013**

 

Val sat on the floor of his bedroom, his bare back resting against the cold wall. He was listening to Vivaldi’s ‘The Four Seasons’. A concerto that had a deep meaning to him. His father had always said that he could see every member of the family represented in each of the four seasons. Val’s father Sasha, a great man, had been **spring**. Lighthearted and gentle but always formal. His mother, Larisa, was **autumn**. Dynamic, beautiful and too modest for her own good. Val’s older brother Maks was **summer**.  Dynamic, effortless, erratic. Like a thunderstorm that both relaxes you and pains. His father had always, with reluctance, likened Val to **winter**. Hard. Cold. Precise. Detached. Val had always loved it though. He loved the winter.

 

His head was full of different thoughts. He thought about his father. How much he loved and how much he missed him. He thought of his brother. He was 6 years older than Val and had his own life back in New York. He didn’t need to follow them across the country. He missed him of course but Val knew he had a good life here with his mother. His mother was his rock. The only one that truly mattered. Right? 

 

He thought back to yesterday. What he had said. What had he said?

 

You soothe me. You soothe me? What had he been thinking? What was going on with him? He didn’t connect with people. The only people he loved were his parents, his grandmother and his brother. That was it. People in his life were just collateral damage. It was never meant to be that way, they were never meant to get hurt, but it happened. Every time. He wore a mask for the outside world. So that people wouldn’t notice who he really was. Why he was so guarded. Why it took him awhile to trust people and when he did, why he never allowed them to see who he really was. He never engaged with anyone in anything more than harmless banter. He was angry with himself for the cracks that had formed in his mask but more than anything he was furious with her. He was furious that these cracks were formed by a girl that didn’t even care. And that’s why he wowed not to care either.

 

He hadn’t gone to school today. He hadn’t dared. He had made too much of a fool of himself already. Signing up for that stupid musical. Why? To prove that he could? To make his own life even more unbearable?  No. He knew why. But it would end now. He grabbed his gym bag and filled it with necessities; a towel, some toiletries and a change of clothes. He needed to let out some steam. He needed to hit something, to feel the strain on his muscles, to run away from everything. Run away from _her._  

 

He was not going to let _this_ win. He was stronger. He was stronger than before and he was never going to be weak again.

 -------------------------------------------

“Zendaya! Can you please lower the volume! I can not listen to Bonnie Tyler for another second!”

 

Zendaya heard her mother’s voice and stepped away from the mirror, where she had been practicing her moves, pressing pause on her stereo. The rehearsals had been going well and Zendaya felt effortless in the role. Like she was born to play it. Like she was born to perform. Unfortunately her schoolwork had suffered a bit, her math homework left much to be desired but after a chat with her math teacher she had realized how important it was. She could pursue her dreams but that did not mean she had to neglect everything else.

 

This last year had been rough on her and her mother. With her father gone, Zendaya’s mom had to work two jobs to be able to successfully run the house. That didn’t leave much time for any sort of a relationship between the two although Zendaya knew that her mother loved her and would always be there for her when she truly needed her. She had felt broken and torn for a long time but she finally felt like she was being pieced back together. Like life finally had a meaning. Like she finally had some meaning.

 

She was starting to get noticed around school, not a lot but people were coming up to her and congratulating her on getting the part in the musical. It felt weird, being accepted, but at the same time it felt exhilarating. She had spent so much time perfecting her outsider attitude that she had slowly forgotten that she wasn’t that person. She wanted to be recognized. She wasn’t who she claimed to be, she wasn’t cold and distant but if there was one thing her father had taught her it was how to protect herself. How to not give yourself away.

 

“Nobody is gonna give you anything in life and nobody is to be trusted my little Zendaya. You make your own fate and your are worthy of whatever you choose, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” That had been the philosophy her father had given her and although she knew he was right, she was slowly starting to realize that people weren’t as bad as he had painted them to be. She had few but wonderful friends. She had made acquaintances in the production and she was starting to loosen around them. There was Spencer, whom she loved dearly but who didn’t love her back. He was still her friend and she would not let that go easily. And then there was Val. A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

 

Val was someone, who at first, she couldn’t stand. And she didn’t know why. She had tried to tell herself that he was everything she detested. He didn’t take anything seriously, he was cocky, he verbalized every single thought he had and could make her blood boil with only the quirk of his lip. But yesterday, yesterday it had been different. He had been different. He had shown himself to her. He saw her hurt because it was mirrored in his own. She had been able to glimpse into his green eyes and see the flashes of pain that reflected deep inside. It had made her realize that he wasn’t just a one-dimensional character that was sent to her school to make her heart race in anger. He was something more and it intrigued her. She wanted to know more, she wanted to

 

He hadn’t been to school that morning and a no-show at rehearsals. Coral and her merry gang of copycats had spent the entire rehearsal trying to get his phone number from other students but no one seemed to have it or know where he lived. The fact that Coral didn’t have his number had made Zendaya undeniable happy, if just because seeing Coral actually work for something was a sight almost never seen.

 

Zendaya wanted to know more about him and she was determined to do so. She had made herself a promise that afternoon. She was not going to be that girl again, the one who kept her distance and the one who never trusted anyone. She had changed. She was stronger than before and she was never going to be weak again.


	5. Chapter 5

**October 8, 2013**

 

Val wiped the sweat off his forehead. He had spent the last two hours punching a bag in a bid to get rid of all his pent up anger. Anger that needed to be redirected. He had realized that blaming Zendaya wasn't a possibility. She hadn't done anything. These ... feelings he was experiencing. They were his, his fault. He couldn't blame her but he had to do something. He had to distance himself.

All of a sudden he was snapped out of his thoughts by a shrill voice.

"Oh my God Val! I did not know hat you work out here!"

Val turned his head, his best playful smirk plastered on his face "Coral. What a surprise. I never took you as someone who actually works out. Don't you just, do hand stands when you cheer?"

"Not if you wanna get these." She rolled up her tight pink tank top, revealing her ripped stomach. Val had to admit that the girl was in great shape, annoying as she was. She pulled her tank top back down, a little too much so that her cleavage was very apparent. That was no sports bra she was wearing.

"Like what you see?"

Val's head snapped up and he could feel a flicker of annoyance starting up in his chest. "I've seen worse. And better for that matter." He turned around, ready to leave but thought better of it. "You've got good posture but you really should think about wearing better support. Your back is one of the most important thing about your body."

"Oh" Coral drawled out while walking up to him. "What are the other most important things  _about my body_?"

Val stared intently while Coral took her fingers and started gliding them over his chest. She arched a brow and Val knew what was coming next "That's rock hard. Anything else hard?"

He let out a laugh and let his head fall back, a million thoughts running around his head.  _How ridiculous is this situation? How pathetic are her come-ons? **How stupid am I?**_  He tilted his head back towards her and saw the assured smile grace her features again. She wasn't ugly by no means. In fact, she was kinda perfect. Why was he acting like this? Who in their right mind would walk away from her?

**_What the hell._ **

"Do you have a car?"

Coral seemed a bit taken aback but quickly put that smile back on her face "I don't have a car. I have a BMW. Daddy gave it to me when I raised my GPA up to 2.0"

"Of course he did" Val deadpanned before taking her hand and striding out of the gym.

"Val wait, I have to take a shower before we go. I'm all sweaty."

Val let out a rather cold chuckle, only turning his head slightly in her direction "No you don't. Not for this."

 

**October 9, 2013**

 

Zendaya sat down in her psychology class, noticing the empty seat beside her. Val hadn't been to school yesterday and it looked like he wouldn't be in today either. She felt a bit ... dejected about his absence. He had been uncharacteristically sweet to her in play rehearsal two days ago and since then she had wanted to thank him. To let him know that he had in fact helped her a lot. She had been going through a lot this past year and it had hardened her demeanour even more but the way he had talked to her, about her, had made her realize that she didn't have to hide away. Zendaya let go of all her thoughts when she saw Val walking into the room. Their eyes met and she felt shivers running down her spine. His normally fiery green eyes were cold. The man from two days ago was gone.

"Babe wait"

Zendaya heard Coral's voice but didn't really register what was happening. She saw her hand something over to Val which he quickly put in his pocket. Coral walked to her seat, the sound of heels echoing with every footstep. A smug look was plastered on her face and she cocked an eyebrow when Zendaya's eyes met hers. Val stood by the door, a vacant look on his face. It was like he couldn't move forward.

Zendaya tried to get his attention, mouthing what's going on? in his direction but he wouldn't look at her. Finally Mrs. Kirchner, the psychology teacher walked into the class room. "Mr. Valentin, I do believe your seat is over there." She pointed to the empty seat that was situated between Zendaya and Coral. Val hesitated a bit before walking to the seat. It felt like minutes before he reached the desk. As he sat down he didn't say a word. Normally he would say anything and everything to get her riled up.  _Something about how neatly her pencils and pens were arranged on her desk or how she should get up earlier so she wouldn't always have to put her hair up in that stupid bun or how the reason she had a locker was so she could keep that stupid dictionary in there so it wouldn't mess up her posture._

But there was nothing. All he did was stare straight forward, like a robot. He hadn't even made fun of Coral yet. Something was really wrong.

She leaned a bit to her left, so that Mrs. Kirchner wouldn't hear her whispering. "Hey Val, do you need anything? You don't even have a pencil with you." She made sure that her voice was light, like she was telling a joke.

No answer.

"I know you're not much of a note guy but ..."

"I don't need  _anything_  from you."

He hadn't even looked at her.

"I ... "

All of a sudden he turned his head towards her. "Listen, what you think is going on here is not. I was nice to you because I wanted something. I didn't get it so I went elsewhere. Don't make it seem like we're friends because  _this_ " he motioned between them "is nothing.  **We are nothing**."

The muscles in her face tightened and she moved so that she was sitting straight in her chair. She felt angry but more than that she felt let down. She looked at him. He was back to looking straight forward but his jaw was clenched. She could see the tension in his body and against her better judgment, it made her feel sad. They had been on their way to being friends. She had started to care for him and that wasn't gonna disappear just because he felt like acting this way. She had seen too much in his eyes to believe that this was the real Val. 

Zendaya remembered the promise she had given herself yesterday. She was not going back on that. She was going to open herself to the world, she was not going to be weak. And while doing that, she was also going to get beneath the layers of Valentin Chmerkovskiy and she was going to find out who on earth he truly was.

The minutes passed agonisingly slowly. Val didn't once look away from the board. Zendaya had stopped trying to talk to him but Coral repeatedly tried to get his attention with no avail. As soon as the bell rang Val sprung from his seat and walked out of the room. Zendaya could see a hurt look on Coral's face and it both confused and intrigued her.  _Everything was so weird today_.

As she stared walking down the school corridor she heard her name being called out

"Zendaya. Zendaya! Do you have a minute?" She turned around and saw Mr. Platt, the math teacher, leaning against the doorframe of his classroom.

She felt a bit apprehensive, especially since only two days ago he had told her she needed to get her grades up. She responded favourably though and walked into the room.

"You don't have to be scared, I'm not a bad guy. Really."

Zendaya smiled "I'm not. Just ... curious."

"Well, I was just wondering if you've been meeting up with Spencer? You know, for tutoring?"

Zendaya's heart sank a bit. She had no intentions of asking Spencer to keep in tutoring her. Not after their last conversation together. It hurt too much having him around her in rehearsals, tutoring would be too much."

"Actually Spencer isn't tutoring me anymore. He just has too much going on with his own schoolwork and the play rehearsals. It just became too much for him."

She saw Mr. Platt's face turn into one of confusion. "Really? Spencer has always been extremely good at multitasking and his grades have never slipped even though he's in every extra curricular thing in this school. That's very weird."

Zendaya quickly answered him. "I think it's because it's his senior year, you know. His parents are really riding him hard about Harvard and he feels like he has to succeed. I think that's it yeah."

Mr. Platt looked deep in thought but nodded his head. "Yeah, that might be it. He's got big footsteps to follow. But what about you then? Have you found someone else to help you?"

"No, ehm, it's ... No I haven't. I don't really know a lot of people at the school so ... " Zendaya felt a bit awkward. She normally didn't speak so candidly to anyone, especially her teachers but somehow Mr. Platt felt different.

"Look, there's a tutor service at the school where you can get assigned a tutor for the class you need. But ... something tells me that would feel a bit uncomfortable to you? I don't know, it's just a guess." He smiled at her and she shyly reciprocated it.

"How about me?"

Zendaya looked quizzically at him. "How about you  _what_?"

"What if I tutor you? I am a math teacher, I should be able to."

"I don't know, isn't that like a conflict of interest?"

Mr. Platt looked at her with a funny expression on his face. "I'm not quite sure you know what that means. I need to talk to your English teacher."

"Ha-ha, very funny. I mean, you're like a teacher."

"You're very sharp Ms. Coleman."

"AND the point of tutoring is getting someone else to help you, not the teacher. And it's been like, a really long time since you were in school and I'm not sure you would be good at tutoring although you're like a great teacher I'm just not good at math and ..."

"Zendaya breathe, okay? I'm 24. Which means I've been out of school for two years. Granted that was college but you're going to be there in two years time so I'm not some kind of a dinosaur. I'm patient and understanding. I don't want to toot my own horn but I'm actually quite cool."

"Toot your own horn? That's so not cool Mr. Platt."

"My offer stands. You need help Zendaya. You do don't argue. And I'm offering it. Just think about it, all right?"

"I will." She started walking towards the door but suddenly turned around. "I'm grateful. I really am. I'm just not ... I'm not really good with people offering me their help. My dad ... He used to tell me that no one could be trusted, that I had to stand on my own. Be my own person. And I really took that to heart. But I feel like I'm changing and I just wanted to let you know that ..." Zendaya sighed as she could feel her embarrassment rising, her cheeks slowly turning redder with each minute. " **I am grateful**. Thanks."

Mr. Platt offered her a warm smile as she turned around once again and left. This new Zendaya was scaring her a bit but she also felt like a burden was being lifted from her shoulders. Being open about her feelings was not a weakness, it was a strength and she was finally going to be a person hat felt comfortable with herself and others.


	6. Chapter 6

**October 10, 2013**

 

 

“I don’t think he’s showing up. **Again**.”

_Spencer didn’t deviate from the dressing table as he made his thoughts known. He was trying to get his hair into some sort of an 80’s style while failing terribly. His hair looked coarse to Zendaya and her fingers stung of the thought of running them through it. Spencer was only minutes away from snagging the role of Ren._

_This was the third rehearsal Val had missed in as many days and Mrs. Hooper had made it clear to the group that if he didn’t sow up by the time rehearsal would end, Spencer would get his part. He had been standing in for 3 days now so it only seemed fair. But it didn’t feel right. Zendaya had spent the last couple of years dreaming of nothing else than starring against Spencer in some sort of a romantic play. Staring in to his eyes, his hand on her face; his thumb grazing over her cheek. But now that it was happening she didn’t feel the electricity she thought she would experience. The electricity that had been in the pit of her stomach every time one of his fingers had accidentally brushed against hers when he was trying to teach her what quadrilaterals was. It felt … wrong. Like she was cheating. It was ridiculous. Right? She had known Val for three weeks and for at least two of those he had been a royal pain in her ass. And even though he had reverted back to being an ass, even more so than before, she felt loyalty to him. And this new Zendaya was not gonna give up._

“Zendaya. Zendaya. **Zendaya!** ”

_Her head snapped up as Mrs. Hooper’s voice rang in her ears._

“Yes Mrs. Hooper?”

“I was just about to address the whole group and I’d appreciate it if you would be present for this.”

_Zendaya gave an awkward smile, knowing that her teacher was not only talking about this particular moment. She hadn’t been present much these last few days. Her body might have been doing the steps but her mind had been with a special someone._

“Look, rehearsal has run its course and Val has not shown up. Now, this is the third time in as many days this has happened. The premiere is coming up and we really can’t afford this. And that’s why Spencer, Spencer come up here, is taking over the role of Ren. And Ben will be taking over for Spencer in the role of Willard. Yes Ben very good. I do hope that this will not affect anyone in any way” _Mrs. Hooper glanced at Zendaya who in turn looked at the ground_ “and although I am saddened that Mr. Chmerkoosky …”

“It’s Chmerkovskiy” _Zendaya heard herself without realizing that she was the one talking_

“Yes of course. I am saddened that Mr. **Chmerkovskiy** obviously did not take this seriously enough, I am positive that Spencer will bring his well, certain something, to this part like he has with every other. You’re all dismissed. There is no rehearsal tomorrow, since there’s no school tomorrow OR Monday. Which means that on Tuesday we have to be twice as good, twice as fast and we have to nail everything! Au revoir my little Genes and Gingers!”

 _Zendaya couldn’t get out of there fast enough. She took two steps, almost flying up the stairs. As she reached for the door she heard a voice calling her name. **Spencer**_.

“Zendaya! Hey, when do you wanna meet up for tutoring? I know things have been crazy because of rehearsals and everything but I have not forgotten my favorite, extremely sucky calculus student”

_He flashed his trademark Spencer grin and Zendaya put on her own smile._

“Look Spencer. I’ve decided to go another way, in terms of tutoring you know.”

_Spencer’s smile faltered a bit and he looked a bit offended._

“You’re … tutor-dumping me?”

“It just wasn’t really working. I still can’t … geomotrize for the life of me …”

 _Spencer pursed his lips and shook his head_ “Not a word or an action …”

“ **AND** Mr. Platt said that my test scores and work isn’t really getting any better. So he asked me if I wanted his help. And I’m gonna accept.”

 _She saw Spencer’s eyebrows lift, like they were two little caterpillars about to attack each other._ “

Oh I get it. There’s not a single girl in this school who would not accept Mr. Platt’s offer to tutor them. You’re a lucky girl.”

“What? Eww no. He’s a teacher.” _Zendaya crinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue in a way that was supposed to imply the disgust she felt right now._

_Spencer let out an amused laugh and patted Zendaya’s head like she was his 10 year old sister._

“You’ll understand when you get older”

_He winked at her and went through the door, leaving Zendaya a bit more perplexed than ever._

* * *

 

**Knock knock**

“Come in. Ah Mr. Chmerkovskiy. I must say, 3 weeks in this school and you’re already in my office. This might just be a new record.”

_Val sat down in a red, leather chair that was situated opposite the principal’s desk. Rianne Murtaugh was her name. She had brown skin and had soft curls in her hair. She looked early to mid-forties. He could definitely work with this._

“So, I have on good authority that you have not been showing up for musical rehearsals.”

_She studied his face, which might as well have been set in stone._

“This is an elective program and therefore isn’t mandatory. But you did audition and you did win the part and it saddens me that you are not following through with this.”

_Val stared straight ahead, not even blinking._

“I just wanted to make sure there was no other reason for your, sudden disinterest. I’ve been going through your file. You’re very gifted albeit a bit troubled it seems. I talked to your mother when she signed you up and what happened to your father must still …”

_Val looked straight into her eyes with such intensity that Mrs. Murtaugh stopped mid-sentence._

"This has nothing to do with my father. I did this for a laugh. I auditioned cause I knew I could get the part. But I had no interest in following through, this is not in my area of interests.”

“Well your career in dancing suggests otherwise …”

“My career as a dancer stayed behind in New York. Look Mrs. Murtaugh. I’m a little shit. I’m, what? Troubled, as you said. I don’t care about anything. I’m a psychiatrists dream patient. Actual words from Dr. Lowebacken. Real name. I’m both highly functional and extremely dysfunctional. I don’t need you, or any other teacher here for that matter, to help me. I just need to graduate. I need … I need to …”

_Val stumbled over his words. He didn’t know what he needed. He hadn’t known for a long time but he needed to have everyone think that he was 100%._

“I need to be myself. I need to be allowed to be me. And I’m not the greatest person alive. But I try. And you all have to allow me that.”

Mrs. Murtaugh took a long, hard look at him. She knew that she should be harder. A student should not be allowed to just not show up to something he signed up for. But he gave off an aura. She trusted him. This boy deserved a chance.

“All right. Mr. Chmerkovskiy I will not do anything about this. Just this. I will talk to Mrs. Hooper and explain the situation. But this is it. If I notice you slacking in any of your classes I will be forced to take disciplinary actions. You’re honest. I like that. You admit to your faults and you do not try to hide them. I truly hope that I will never see you again in this office.”

“So do I Miss.”

“Mrs.

“Sorry. **Mrs**.”

_Val smiled at her as he opened the door but as soon as he was outside his face turned back to stone. This was what he was good at. He could get anything that he wanted. He could get anything from anyone. She hadn’t even been a challenge. He hadn’t even had to study her. He hadn’t had to. She was a principal. She only wanted to believe the best about all of “her” children._

_He walked outside and the fresh air hit his face, but he didn’t feel it. He had just played the principal, he had managed to make her see his good ways when in reality he didn’t have any. He felt like he was sinking, **drowning**. And there was no one there to safe him._

* * *

 

“Hey Mr. Platt, do you have a second?”

_Zendaya leaned against the doorframe to his office. She had never been there before. It was unlike any other teacher’s office she had seen before. He had his diploma up on the wall. He also had a lot of math awards and a …_

“Is that a … Is that a participation award for … Lacrosse? Eugh.”

Mr. Platt looked between his award and Zendaya and then smiled widely.

“Yes.”

_Zendaya stared at him expecting a more detailed answer._

“I was a math wiz in high school. It was kind of a posh high school. We didn’t really have football, not that I would’ve been able to make the team.”

_Zendaya studied her teacher, wondering what he had looked like in high school._

“Anyway, we had a lacrosse team. And my dad **really** wanted me to be into sports. Which is weird because rich dads normally want their sons to be good in a field that will, preferably, make the sons eligible in the family company or law firm or investor bank. I don’t know. So he signed me up for the team. And I sucked” _He let out a laugh_ “I sucked bad. I never got to play a game. I didn’t want to. But I guess the coach took pity on me and gave me this,” _He handed the award to Zendaya_ “my dad was normally on the sidelines, even during practices, shouting out abuse and comparing me to my older, very athletic brother.”

 _He let out a breathy sigh and took the award back_. “My legacy.”

“You’re buff.” Zendaya could feel her word vomit exiting her mouth. “No. Oh no. This is … I mean, you. Ooohhh. You **obviously** , it’s very obvious, **obviously** work out so, I just. Why did you suck so bad in high school? In sports?”

_Zendaya wanted to die. Never in her life had she talked to a teacher like this. And normally she would apologize at this moment but she couldn’t even look at him._

“Wow. You’re very polite.”

_Zendaya finally looked at him and saw his blue eyes practically smiling on their own._

“I was a scrawny little thing. And although I may look, quite handsome, at this point in my life, I was never someone who could do things. You know? I just studied and tried to stay clear of my dad and lived a miserable little life.”

_Zendaya gave him a sympathetic smile and he returned it._

“But you did not come here to, a) insult my high school sports career and b) hear why I had a sad little high school sports career. What can I help you with Ms. Coleman?”

_Zendaya fiddled with her fingers for a bit before she had the courage to ask_

“Iwouldbeeternallygratefulifyoucouldtutorme?”

“Beetroots are great what?”

“ **No**. I would be eternally grateful if you could tutor me. In math. Calculus. The devil’s hobby.”

“Aahh. So you actually heard me when I spoke to you last time. So Spencer is out of the picture? The math picture of course.”

“ **Every picture**. He’s out of them all. It didn’t … He didn’t really help me.”

“I thought maybe you had a hard time concentrating around him.”

_Zendaya was taken aback and Mr. Platt saw it straight away._

“Wow, that was very unprofessional of me. I’m sorry. I sometimes forget my place. My teacher place. If you will have me, then I would be honoured to tutor you. You have a lot of potential. You just have to grab them. Make them yours. Make geometry your bitch” he winced at himself “out of line. Again. I’m horrible.”

 _Zendaya offered him a laugh_. “You’re alright Mr. Platt, I can say bitch too.”

“Oh I hope I didn’t just teach you that. Are you alright with out first session being tomorrow? I know there’s no school but I really think we should get going with this, there’s a lot of ground we need to cover.”

“That’s fine by me but don’t you want to spend your day off with your family? What would your wife say?”

“Woah, not married. Too young. Not a subject up for discussion. I’ll see you tomorrow then, right outside the west entrance at, should we say 1 pm? Sounds good?”

“Sounds great. Thanks Mr. Platt.”

“Anytime Ms. Coleman.”

_As Zendaya shut the door to his office, Spencer’s words came back into her head. Mr. Platt is hot. No, he’s not. She would be the envy of the whole female student population. Why? Cause she was getting tutored by the insanely hot math teacher. Wait. Not hot. He was not hot._

_Oh god shut up Z._


	7. Chapter 7

**October 11, 2013**

 

“Val, honey. We have to get going if you don’t want to be late.”

_Val could hear his mother’s sweet voice through his bedroom door. When he was younger and had felt angry or insecure or frightened, she would hug him tightly and whisper calmingly into his ear. That’s all that he needed. Her close to him, telling him that everything would be alright. How he wished that would still work. Cause he felt all of those things, all of the time. It would come and go, like waves, sometimes forcefully and he just couldn’t handle it alone. That’s why he had to go see him. Dr. Lowebacken. He had tried talking to someone when they lived in New York but it was too soon. The pain was still too raw. The wounds were still healing. But time had only made it worse. The physical pain was almost gone, it wasn’t as consistent as it had been but it would flare up occasionally. When he overworked himself. When he danced. He couldn’t do that anymore. Too many memories. It always reminded Val of him. And he just wanted to forget._

“Val please. Please come out here so we can go.”

_He could sense the tiredness in his mother’s voice. He knew she was tired. And he knew she tried her best to not let him see it. But it was obvious. This hadn’t just affected him. This had affected his whole family. His mother had lost her husband. The love of her life. “_ **My reason for breathing** _” she had always said as she kissed his lips and walked out the door. Then his father had laughed and told his two boys_ “ **Y** **ou would be the luckiest men in the world if you could marry someone who is half the person your mama is** _.” There was no laughter now. There hadn’t been for a year._

_New York had been suffocating them so they had to move. His brother had stayed behind and that’s how Val liked it. He loved his brother but sometimes … Sometimes he couldn’t stomach looking at him. He was angry at him and he didn’t know how to control it._

_He grabbed his jacket off the bed. As he was walking towards the door he stopped in front of a mirror that stretched from the floor and at least 2 metres upwards. Val didn’t recognise the boy that looked back at him. He was a shell of his former self. He was still handsome like he had always been but there was an edge there. He looked tired. He looked old. Like he had aged 20 years in one. He turned to his side and lifted his shirt. There they were. 6 scars, on his side and back. He was a marked man and he would carry these scars and this burden for the rest of his life._

 

* * *

 

 

“Wait, but, uuuhh, could you like, not be such a bitch?”

“Could you maybe speak in a sentence that we can understand?”

_Deja and Dom were quarrelling back and forth while Zendaya cleaned out of her closet. She had too many clothes that were getting too small, her growth spurt had put a serious dent into the family budget._

_She had decided to give all of the clothes she could not wear to Downtown’s Women Center although both Deja and Dom had insisted on coming over and “check the goods” before anything was sent anywhere._

“So Z, this is like a study date? You know, you and Hotty McHotHot?”

_Dom snorted as soon as Deja let go of the question._

“No Deja, Z is not going on a study date with our teacher.”

“You’re not in his class Dom, you’re not allowed to have an opinion.”

“Well she’s not cause she’s still hung up on Zachary ….”

“Spencer”

“Right, she’s still hung up on Sawyer and that’s why she can’t have him teach her addition cause he’s a hoe although I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”

“Dom!” _Zendaya had had enough of their back and forth._

“Why just me though?”

“Both of you stop! I am going to study with my math teacher who apparently a lot of girls … “

“And boys”

“and boys, thank you, find very attractive although I just don’t see it. This is happening at school, not at his place.”

“Because that would be inappropriate.”

_Zendaya didn’t know if Deja was asking a question or not and decided to ignore it._

“Look you guys, I have to be there in like 20 minutes so just please, go through these clothes, take what you want and just put the leftovers in these garbage bags.”

_She handed them three black bags and Deja immediately dived into the piles of clothes on the floor. She held up a lack crop-top with a silver lining at the bottom and looked at Zendaya’s body._

“So … You’re gonna wear that?”

“Wear what? These clothes that are on my body right now? Yes, this is what I’m going to wear.”

_Zendaya couldn’t read Deja’s expression and the only words that came out of her mouth were_ “It’s nice.”

_Zendaya situated herself in front of her mirror and took a look at her reflection. There was nothing wrong with her clothes._

_She could see Dom give a Deja a swift kick in the shin and heard her voice aimed at her._

“Z, it’s great. It’s definitely my style. It’s just, allergic to bullshit, I mean, not very teacher friendly.”

_Dom gave her a small smile, which was one of her trademarks._

_Z gave her a smile back and turned around to face her two friends._ “It may not be teacher friendly but at least it’s me.”

“Well, at least it hides the yoga pants from plain view. You know Mrs. Fennel would flip if she’d see you in them. SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK MS. COLEMAN!”

_They all burst out laughing until Deja mentioned the one thing Zendaya didn’t want to talk about_

“Hey what’s going on with NY dude? Wasn’t he in the play with you? Weren’t you all ‘bff-ing’ it up?”

_Zendaya bit her lip so hard that she could feel how the skin punctured._

“He quit, the play. He just, stopped showing up and now Spencer is playing his part. Which is cool cause Spencer’s really good."

“But?” _Dom always knew when there was a but._

“But ... It just ended weird. He was truly insufferable but then he was nice and then he was sweet and then ... Then he went cold. And he started saying how he had only been nice to me to get one thing and we all know that line but, it just doesn’t seem right. I don’t believe him. But he he’s not letting me anywhere near him right now so I’m just gonna wait. I can do that.”

_Deja and Dom looked at each other and Zendaya could see that they really wanted to say something._

“Out with it. I can see it written all over your faces, what do you want to say?”

_Dom stood up from the floor and walked over to Zendaya._ “Do you have, like any sort of feelings for this guy?”

_Zendaya was taken aback but quickly answered._ “No. I really don’t. I just, feel like he needs someone. Someone to just be there for him.”

_Deja, who was still sitting in the middle of the clothes pile, had a skeptical look on her face._ “So you want him to be your, what? Charity project? That’s not what guys want.”

“Look I can’t explain this. I’ve really got to go okay, I can’t be late for Mr. Platt. I’ll talk to you all later and just remember to lock the house when you’re done and please don’t eat all the food.”

_She hurried out of the room and only managed to hear Deja shout out the word diet. She had 10 minutes to get herself to the school. It was a good thing she had long legs and yoga pants._

 

* * *

 

“Mr. Platt! Mr. Platt” _Zendaya came running towards her teacher who had only moments before been looking at his watch wondering where his pupil was. He smiled and let out a little laugh when she barely managed to stop herself before colliding either with him or the school itself._

“Zendaya, nice that you could join me here. Did you run?”

_Zendaya took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it._ “Yeah, I live like, somwhere over there so I ran.” Her breaths became more rapid as she tried to center herself. She couldn’t be in this bad shape could she?

“Well you’re one energetic, tall, Amazonian.”

_She looked at him like he had just grown a third head._ “A what?”

“Amazonian. They were like these fierce warriors in Greek myths ...” _and it’s probably not wise for me to liken my student to someone like that_ “eeeuuuuhh, I don’t know. Lets just go in and start mathematizing.”

_He fumbled with his keys and dropped them twice before he managed to unlock the door. It truly was not a mystery as to why he had never been good at sports in his own high school days. There was no coordination with any of his body parts._

_The hour they spent together went away quickly and Zendaya was bummed when he looked at his watch and told her time was up._

“This has been a really productive hour I must say. You don’t ‘suck donkeyballs’ at maths, like you so eloquently put it when we started and I have a feeling that we can most definitely turn your D into something much better. It’s gonna take time though, we’re gonna have to meet up more. Unless you think I’m a horrendous tutor?”

_He had barely stopped talking when Zendaya answered with a resound no._ “You’re really good. I feel like I’m actually understanding the material for the first time. It’s just need a lot of guidance and when you’re in a class with 30 other students, you kinda get lost.”

“I always see you. You just have to see me too.” _He gave her a reassuring smile._  “I’ll see you on Monday. Same time, same place.”

“Can’t wait” _she said jokingly and as she was about to spin around and leave, Mr. Platt laid a hand on her shoulder._ “Ask for help. That’s what I’m here for. Anything you need, okay?” _He let his hand fall down to his side but she could still feel the heat penetrating the fabric of her shirt. A current made its way through her body and it made her jolt a little. All she could do was nod her head and hastily make her way out of the school._

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven’t updated in 4 months and I truly feel like I’ve lost my touch with any writing. I’m like the opposite of Midas because everything I touch turns to some extremely worthless metal that I don’t have a name for. Please tell me if this is just pure shit.

**October 15, 2013**

 

 

"Thank you for joining me Mr. Chmerkovskiy, please sit."

_Val nodded his head in the direction of Mrs. Hooper as he sat down. He was in her office. Even though Val had not even been in the school for a month, he had seen inside his fair share of faculty offices and boy was this one a travesty. There were playbills everywhere; hanging on the walls, in a bundle on the tacky IKEA desk that Mrs. Hooper was sitting at, and one a small coffee table that was situated by an old couch that she had probably "borrowed" from props. He didn't know if she was trying to relive some kind of a past life or if she was just showing off how cultured she was. Or wanted to be._

"A week ago you stopped coming to rehearsals. Now, before you barrage me with excuses just know that I have spoken to the principal and we have come to an understanding."

 _Val perked up with those words._ _**An understanding? But I already talked to her.**_   _He noticed a smile grace Mrs. Hoopers lips and he silently cursed._

"Don't worry, you will not be participating in the actual play. That role went to Spencer as soon as you decided to let your fellow students down. No. You will be prop master."  _A grin etched itself onto her face. She was enjoying seeing him squirm in his seat._

"Mrs. Hooper, the principal and I ...."

"The principal talked to be after she discussed your ... issues. And we  **both** thought that the best thing that we could do was to  **allow** you into the production again. We really don't want you to isolate yourself. You need structure around you."  _That evil grin was still plastered on her face and Val could feel his annoyance turning to anger that threatened to break through._ "After school, 4 pm. You know where the auditorium is. You're dismissed."

_Val stood up with such fury that he chair lifted and slammed back to the floor. Mrs. Hooper looked at him, expecting an apology but he didn't say a word and left the office, just knowing that things couldn't get any worse._

* * *

"Oh wow, look at that."

_Zendaya, who had been talking to Spencer, turned her head in the direction of the entrance and saw him. She hadn't seen him in 5 days and she cursed herself for knowing that. **Why are you counting the days?** He looked like he normally did although it seemed as though there was a darker cloud around him, at least darker than normally. _

"So Chmerkovskiy! Are you here to take back you role? I'm not leaving without a fight!"  _Spencer's voice was questioning, cocky and friendly all at once but the only answer he got was a dull **NO.**_

_The atmosphere turned awkward and the tension didn't cease when Mrs. Hooper walked in the auditorium. If anything it intensified. Her booming voice captured them all as she started talking._

"Well well well, I see our new prop master has arrived on time. Maybe that's the job I should've given you in the first place."  _Her tone of voice was condescending and Zendaya wanted to say something but as soon as she opened her mouth her eyes locked with Val's and he shook his head, his eyes pleading with hers._

_The rehearsal flew by. They only had a little over a week until the premiere and everything was going great for once. Zendaya felt perfect in the role and even though a small part of her still wanted Val to be her leading man, Spencer was doing great. Like he always did. The hurt that Zendaya had felt when it came to Spencer's lack of feelings towards her was still there but it was dull ache, not a throbbing one like it had been. And Spencer. Well Spencer had been oblivious then and he was as oblivious now. But now it felt like a good thing._

_As rehearsals ended and Zendaya was about to leave she felt a pair of green eyes on her, almost burning a hole in the side of her skull and she knew, she knew, it was time._

"Normal people don't stare so much."  _She turned and looked at him and for a split second it almost looked like he turned read. **Almost**._

"I'm not quite sure I fit the criteria of normal."  _He gave her a half hearted smile and at that Zendaya knew she was going to listen to everything he had to say. The last of their classmates had already exited the auditorium and the air filled with silence._

_At least two minutes passed and it looked like Val would not initiate any discussion._

"Look I gotta go, I have stuff to do. People to see. Real important, or not important. But important enough to ..."

"I'm sorry."

_Zendaya had been rambling incessantly and hadn't noticed the smile that grazed Val's lips. It was a smile that he had lost awhile back but he seemed to find every time he was with her. She looked at him, a look of relief etched across her face and a sigh escaping her lips.  
_

"I'm not a very good person."

"Val don't say that."

"Please, let me finish."  _His voice was tight but she could hear the softness that he was hiding. She crossed her arms but realized that it might look like she was distancing herself from him and that was the last thing she wanted._

"I'm not a very good person. I play a part, whatever people want to me be, that's who I am. But after awhile it just, it gets to me. Being someone you're not it .. it takes a toll on. Physically, emotionally. So I revert to me. To the person I really am and he's a bastard. He really is. I hurt people. I do it on purpose. I do it so they'll leave. Because in the end someone has to."

"Has to what?"

 _Val looked at her with a broken look in his eyes._ "Leave. Someone always has to leave."

_Zendaya felt a sadness weighing her down. She knew how it felt, having someone leave you. Whether it be by choice or fate. But still that didn't feel like enough._

"What are you sorry for?"

"W-what?"  _Val looked perplexed._ _  
_

_Zendaya spoke again, enunciating the words this time._  " **What** are you sorry for?"

_Val looked at her, not really knowing what kind of an answer she was looking for._

"I'm sorry for pushing you away, when the only you wanted was to reach out to me. I'm sorry for treating you like I treat everyone else. I’m sorry for three weeks of ups and downs."

_**AND?**  Zendaya knew he wouldn’t say it. And why would he? Why would he be sorry and why did she care? She decided to let it go._

“I’m sorry too, I think I may have transferred some of my own problems to you. Or at least used you to dodge them. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“Wow. Look at us. Someone might mistake us for friends if we’re not careful.”  _His voice was light and soft, just like it had been when he had found her, in this exact auditorium, moments after she had realized Spencer didn’t reciprocate her feelings._

“We are friends Val.”  _They stood perfectly still, just watching each other, small smiles on both of their faces._  “You don’t need a hug do you?”  _Val crinkled his nose which made him look like he had just eaten a whole lemon._

 _Zendaya put her hands up, letting him know that that wasn’t an option._ “No thanks, bros don’t hug.”

Val let out a laugh and Zendaya 

enjoyed how free he was being with her.

“So we’re bros now?”

“Yeah, bros. It’s good.”

“Nah.”

“Nah? We’re not bros?”

“We’re fam.”  _He said it with such sincerity that Zendaya couldn’t come back with a snarky retort. **Fam**. _

“I like that.”

“It’s what me and my brother and our friends used to call ourselves. They were all my brothers to be honest.”

“You have a brother?”  _Zendaya felt curious about his family and wanted to know more. She saw a shift in his demeanour and worried that she had said something wrong._

“Had.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry Va ...”

“It’s not important. Ehm, didn’t you say you had somewhere to be?”

“Yeah, right. Just leaving now. I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?”

“In classes and here. I gotta make an effort apparently.”

“Bye.”

“See ya Z.”

 _She smiled to herself as she walked out into the corridor. No one called her Z except for her dad. Well he had. She made her way to a classroom, where a tired looking Mr. Platt was waiting for her and she asked herself a question._ **_What does it mean when your heart races when you see a boy but you heart jumps a beat when you see a man?_ **

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**October 22, 2013**

 

 

Val hung the last of the costumes on the rack, thinking how pathetic how must be looking right about now. Everyone was gone and he was left alone backstage. It had been a week since he was practically coerced into sweeping the floors and arranging clothes by colours and nothing had changed. Not that he been expecting it to but that was everyone’s hope. A hope that, he felt, was dwindling with every hour. He could see it in their body language. His therapist, his teachers, that guidance counsellor he was forced to see cause apparently he had no direction in life. It was the same look his parents had given his brother. Just as his mother looked at him now. 

School wasn’t any different. He was just sliding through. He didn’t really have any friends. He was talked about that was for sure, Coral had made sure of that. Any girl he walked past gave him a death glare. apparently bad boys weren’t all the rage. The boys either gave him a high-five or a look mixed with curiosity and sympathy. He didn’t really care though. Well, he kinda cared. He cared about Zendaya.  **No.** He cared what she thought about him. Did she know about Coral? Of course she knew. If there was anything that could be said about Coral it was that she had a big mouth and knew how to use it. He smiled to himself but then shook his head, wondering why he had to be like this. He cursed, out loud apparently because all of a sudden he heard a voice.

“Are you alright there buddy?”

Val turned around and saw Spencer looking back at him, a curious look on his face. 

“I just mean, you’re cursing at the costumes. They’re pretty great costumes actually, I think those trousers over there in the Grease show that the class of ‘85 did. They’re like antique.”

Val never really knew how to talk with Spencer and this time it was certainly no different. He was just too much of a pretty boy. A pretty boy Zendaya liked. He turned away from him and kept on hanging the clothes. He heard Spencer’s voice again.

“Look Val, I know that you may think that I took your part and maybe I did but this is what I do. Wait not, like I don’t take parts from people. I don’t lay and wait for people to mess up so I can get their parts because I always get the part.” He let out a laugh, it was breathy and insecure. “I’m coming off as the jackass you think I am, right?”

Val turned around again, a softer look on his face than before yet he didn’t speak. Spencer saw this as an opportunity.

“I don’t have a lot in my life but I do have the stage. Theatre is the only thing that makes any sense in my life, believe me. I’m not a jock. I can’t even catch a ball but I’m handsome and I’m smooth. And slick. So it doesn’t matter. People don’t make life hard for me because of those things.”

Val sensed that Spencer needed to say something more and decided to respond to him.

“Well you are all those things. I mean, you’re great on that stage. I never had interest in it, I just did it to be a nuisance. But what you’re telling me is that you have to do this?”

“It’s just, you know … I live a layered life and acting just makes it easier.”

Val understood completely what he meant and his dislike for Spencer started to was away.

“I actually understand what you’re talking about. Being a different person in different circumstances. It’s tiring, isn’t it?”

Spencer avoided looking directly into Val’s eyes, constantly darting his eyes around him, never finding a fixed spot. To Val it seemed he was getting more upset by the second.

“Yeah I play a lot of parts. I play the perfect son, the straight A student, the man of every high school girl’s desire.” He let out a snicker. “I haven’t even … “ Spencer caught himself and stopped talking immediately. 

Val could read between the lines and 

“Ok … ay …” He didn’t really know what to say but decided to be upbeat about the information he had just accidentally received. 

“There comes a time for everything and when you … feel like it’s your time there will be a lovely girl waiting for you …”

Val felt incredibly uncomfortable in this situation but decided that it was not his place to walk away now. There must be a reason that Spencer was confiding in him.

Spencer just shook his head “I highly doubt that.”

“Zendaya likes you” Val grimaced as soon as he let go of those words.

Spencer looked at the floor and whispered “not my type.”

Val heard the words and felt offended on behalf of Zendaya. “Not your type? How? I mean, she’s beautiful and funny and generous, a bit of a hard head but her soul is just …. oh my god.”

It all finally clicked and Val didn’t know what to do or say. Spencer still hadn’t looked at him but Val could see sadness etched on his face. And that was confirmed when he finally looked up.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I’ve never told anyone before. It just doesn’t make sense. I don’t know how I … how I could be … that.” 

Val heard the frustration in his voice and for a second he thought about putting his hand on his arm but decided against it. Spencer put a hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. The awkward silence that threatened to fill the air was cut short by Spencer.

“Ehm, so can I trust that you won’t tell?”

“Of course. A word about won’t pass my lips. But why me? It’s not like we’re friends.”

Spencer seemed to think about it for a moment. “I think because we aren’t friends. I could never tell them. They’re just … It wouldn’t be pretty. An Zendaya likes you so I know you’re trustworthy. You also just seem like the kind of a person who doesn’t give a fuck, you know? Like who cares?” 

“You do.”

“Yeah I do, don’t I. I just, I really don’t need anything to change right now. At least not until I leave this place for good.” 

Val gave him a reassuring nod which Spencer reciprocated as he turned to walk away. He stopped mid walk and turned around, giving Val a hesitant look.

Val peered at him, not knowing what to think. “What?”

“It’s none of my business but I don’t care. Zendaya never liked me. She thought she did because I was one of the first ones to talk to her in school. Like ever. And I think she just got gratitude and infatuation mixed up. I think you should definitely tell her how you feel.”

“I don’t feel anything.”

“From the moment you stepped into this school, you felt it. You’re not that good of an actor. Actually you’re not really good at all. Try being sincere.”

“I’m never sincere.”

“Hate to break it to you but you’re a pretty good guy. You try not to be but well, this conversation is proof. You’re good Chmerkavskiy.”

“Not my name.”

Spencer shrugged and smiled wide. “I’m not even gonna try. See ya.”

“Bye Baldman.”

He heard Spencer snicker as Val stood alone again, wondering if Spencer had been right about Zendaya. He finished putting the last two costumes on the rack and grabbed his bag. He knew the janitor would be coming by shortly and he didn’t really want, or need, to have a conversation about mothballs and the best equipment for scrubbing parquet floors. 

He stepped outside and breathed in the air which was not as foggy as it had been recently. As he prepared to walk home he saw Zendaya on the sidewalk opposite the school. She looked beautiful standing there with her long, brown hair cascading down her back. He decided to walk to her but before he had the chance a silver Audi drove up to her and he saw how her face lit up. She got into the passenger seat and Val couldn’t believe his eyes. What was going on? Was this legal?

**_Why was she leaving with Mr. Platt?_ **

****

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama.

**October 25, 2013**

 

“Zendaya, pretty please? You don’t ever come out with us anymore. I’m not even sure what you look like anymore.”

Zendaya stared at her friend, an eyebrow raised in cynical manner. “Dom, you’re looking at me right now.”

_Her friend threw her hands up in the air in an exaggerated manner, indicating to Zendaya that this conversation was a bit more serious than she had initially thought._

“That. Does. Not. Matter. Where are you Z? And don’t you dare say right here, not cute.”

“You know I have to practice, I’m the lead, you know how much this means to me. It always has.”

“Shit, you’re in the play Z, you still gotta practice? Don’t you know it by now?”

_Z could hear their mutual friend Deja snorting in the background and was thankful that she had not joined Dom in ganging up on her._

“Dom, girl, you know that acting is just endless run of practices and reading. You do know that don’t you?” Deja looked at her friend like she was trying to see into her brain.

“Hey, I know stuff. Don’t you start. I’m just saying, Z, we miss hanging out with our girl.”

_Zendaya smiled tightly, her lips forming a thin line. She didn’t quite understand why she couldn’t just come clean. No, she wasn’t spending every afternoon after school practicing. Sometimes she was at Colin’s house. Christ. Mr. Platt. Mr. Platt, Zendaya. She almost hit herself in the head for that thought but managed to contain herself._

_She should just tell them. She was getting extra lessons from Colin. MR. PLATT. Jesus Christ. But the thing was, she didn’t want to tell them. It felt nice, having it be a secret. Like it was a little dangerous without any actual danger being present._

_No, this was hers and hers only._

“I’m sorry guys, I can’t get out of this. But what do you say about a sleepover, tomorrow night?” She flashed her megawatt smile at them, her hopeful eyes melting away all the anger Dom had felt only moments earlier.

“You know I can’t resist those puppy dog eyes.”

“YES!” Deja enveloped them both in a hug and they hastily made plans to meet up around noon the next day.

 

* * *

 

 

_For the past three days, Val had been avoiding Zendaya. He wanted to talk to her, he needed to. But every time he saw her, his insides tightened and he would make up any excuse possible to avoid the conversation he desperately needed to have with her._

_The image was grained into his mind, and he constantly thought about it. There were many logical reasons for a student to get into their teacher’s private vehicle, right? No, no there weren’t. He had brainstormed every possible explanation and talked through every single one of them. Nothing made sense. Nothing._

_As he walked down the corridor heading outside, he ran into Zendaya, in the literal sense of the word._

“Ow! Oh it’s you.”

“Always nice to get such a lovely greeting.”

“Well Chmerkovskiy, I wasn’t really expecting you to walk into me since you’ve made a point of avoiding me every chance you get,” she said matter-of-factly and he winced a bit.

“I’ve been really busy.”

“With what? Getting kicked out of more shows?” She smiled suddenly, as to let him know that she was kidding but he still felt bad about what had happened a few days earlier.

“Look about that, I haven’t really been able to explain to you …”

“Val look, you don’t owe me an explanation. I will admit I was a bit pissed, rightly so I do believe, but you clearly had no interest being there anyway so … That’s that.”

_He bit his lower lip at every word he spoke and when she finished talking he was mainly just chewing on it. She looked at him, a concern etched on her face._

“Val, are you okay?” She put her hand on his arm and he once again felt the jolt of electricity that he had become so accustomed to every time she brushed up against him.

“Can we talk? Like in private?”

_Zendaya opened and closed her mouth, like she had something to say and then glanced at her watch. She bit her lip and then nodded her head, leading the way into the first open classroom she could find. She put down her bag and then turned around to face him, her eyes shining with an inviting look but her body tight and rigid, it was obvious she was expecting to be somewhere else._

_The silence was awkward. Zendaya looked at her watch at least 5 times in the minutes they had been standing there and Val went through his speech in his mind, not knowing where to start._

Finally Zendaya snapped, “Val! I really have to be somewhere else.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. This is just really … I don’t know where to start …”

Zendaya’s mind went from zero to a hundred. What is he talking about? He’s not … Oh no he’s not …

“You’re not in love with me are you?”  
“Why were you sitting in Mr. Platt’s car?”

“WHAT?”  
“What?”

_They stared at each other, one of them feeling dread filling every pore of his body while the other one felt annoyance spreading out, from her toes all the way to the top of her head._

“What did you just say?”

“I saw you the other night, getting into Mr. Platt’s car. His personal vehicle.”

“His personal vehicle? What are you talking about?” Zendaya could hear her own voice, it was loud yet tight at the same time. Her annoyance level was too high because she knew there was a valid answer to his question. But she also knew that he was not expecting the answer she had, and that hurt her.

“Just be happy that it was me that saw, and not someone like Coral or Todd or Zeke …”

“There’s no Todd or Zeke at this school”

“They’re in the football team”

“There are no Todd or Zeke in the foot ….”

“Zendaya!” Val’s voice was penetrating and Zendaya was sure that it could have been heard throughout the whole school. “Focus. This isn’t right, none of this is right, and you know that.”

_Zendaya felt an all-consuming fire forming in the pit of her stomach. “How dare you.” Her voice was seeped with disdain. Disdain for what he was accusing her of, disdain for the picture he had already painted in his head, disdain for him._

“How dare you come here and accuse me. Where do you come off? You’re the one that’s emotionally damaged, not me. You’re the one sleeping around, getting kicked out of school, just doing stupid shit in general! God, you were so annoying first when you came here. And then you were creepy because you jut wouldn’t leave me alone. And then, then I felt sorry for you. Poor Val. He seems so broken. And then we became friends. But you never wanted that did you? You can’t handle having friends. You can’t handle anyone actually caring for you. Well, that’s fine because I quit. I resign my job as Val Chmerkovskiy’s only friend.”

_Val felt nothing. It was as he wasn’t even in his own body anymore, just floating somewhere on the outside, looking down at the two of them._

When he spoke, his voice was thick, his emotions threatening to get the better of him. “I never … I never … I wouldn’t accuse you …”

_Zendaya just shook her head, unable to speak anymore._

“It’s just, he’s a teacher and he should not be …”

“I’m having extra lessons Val. That’s what’s happening. And yes I know, it was stupid to get a ride from him. I do know that. It was just easy and the forecast said there would be rain and I didn’t have an umbrella and Colin said that he’d give me a ride and it just … ”

“Wha … Who’s Colin?”

“What?”

“Who’s Colin?”

Zendaya looked at Val, it took her a moment to understand his question. “Mr. Platt. I meant Mr. Platt.”

“Mr. Platt.” Val’s words felt icy and Zendaya looked at him straight in the eyes.

“Spencer didn’t think it would be a good idea to continue our study sessions and I’ve been slipping. My grades aren’t anything to be proud of. And Mr. Platt, quite reluctantly, offered his help. I meet him twice a week, sometimes three times … ”

“Three times?”

“Sshh. Sometimes three times to work on algebra. Math.”

“Math.”

“Yes.”

“And this is such a secret why?” Val was trying to understand but nothing about this situation made sense in his head. The thought of her spending three days a week in close proximity with their older, very handsome math teacher angered him.

“Because I want it to be. And it’s my right. I would’ve thought that you would understand that.”

_Val’s irrational anger didn’t subside, but it was what it was. Irrational. He knew Zendaya and he knew that she would never even think about doing the things that he had just accused her of. What a dick you are Chmerkovskiy._

“I’m sorry.”

“You say that a lot.”

“I happen to fuck up a lot, it kinda comes with the last name.”

Zendaya let out a small laugh but it was hollow and Val felt like he had just been punched in the gut.

“This really shouldn’t be this difficult.”

“What do you mean?”

“This friendship. Every other conversation is an argument.”

“It’s not like that …”

Zendaya finally looked at him and he could clearly see that she was fighting back tears. “I feel humiliated right now. And betrayed. You let your anger run with you, you let it take you places that should be locked far, far away.”

……

“And I think we should may be just, allow each other to breathe.”

“Like, not be friends?” This hit him harder than he ever could’ve imagined.

“Just maybe not for a little while. Okay?”

“Yeah …. yeah”

_Zendaya picked up her bag and headed towards the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned around and spoke one last time._

“There’s a side to you, it feels haunted. Sometimes it’s like you want to fail and you don’t care who you take down with you. Please save yourself cause no one else can.”

_And she left, with Val slumping down onto one of the tables, his devil side aching to break all the way through and him not really caring enough to block it._

_Not this time._

 


	11. Chapter 11

**November 21, 2013**

_A month had gone by since Zendaya had asked him for space. A month of dodging her in the halls; three weeks of heads buried in books, desperately trying to avoid her gaze. He was angry yet he knew that this was his fault. It was all a mess. **He** was a mess. **He was lost**._

_Val looked at himself in the mirror. His new uniform felt suffocating and he wondered what the hell he was doing. His reflection was unrecognisable, there was a disconnect happening, He knew nothing about the person staring back at him. He had tried to reinvent himself, tried to run away from the person he used to be but it wasn’t working. He had tried so many times that he had lost his essence, who he was. And yet he just kept going. Making bad decisions, running away from problems, hiding behind other. **That was what he did best. That’s what ruined this family.**_

 

* * *

 

 

_Zendaya sat in her seat, eagerly turning her head every time someone walked inside the classroom. She hadn’t spoken to Val in four weeks and although she had felt incredible hurt and betrayed by his indirect accusation that she was seeing their math teacher, she felt as though something was missing from her everyday life. He somehow made it ... **brighter**. In a sarcastic, infuriating yet captivating kind of way. She missed him and the pulsating sensation in her chest indicated that she wished he missed her too._

_She heard a shuffling and looked at the door. Her face broke into a wide smile as she saw him walk into the room, a smile that dimmed when she saw who he was with. **What is he doing with Coral? And Derek? And BIFF? What the hell was this?**_

“Hey Val ...” 

_Her words were stopped by another voice, that of Mr. Platt. Val walked right past her, like he hadn’t heard her, maybe he hadn’t. She couldn’t concentrate at all during the next 40 minutes, looking past her shoulder every 5 minutes in as a discrete manner as she could. Finally when the bell rang she shoved her things into her bag as quickly as she could but as she looked up she saw Val leaving, with his apparent new friends. She stood up, deciding that she would try to reach him in the hall. If not she would definitely catch him during lunch._

“Ms. Coleman, could I have a word?”

**_Oh no_ ** _. Zendaya turned around, a look of fake interest and curiosity etched on her features._

“Yes Mr. Platt? Something I can help you with?”

_Mr. Platt did not have an amused look on his face and Zendaya quickly dropped the act, knowing it wouldn’t do any good._

“I think it is imperative that we meet for another session as soon as possible. We’ve only met twice in the past month and your work ... it’s slipping. We need to hit the ground running to make sure this doesn’t become permanent.”

“Yeah I know, there’s just been a lot going on. Especially with the musical and constant rehearsals and ...”

_Mr. Platt interrupted her, a tactic Zendaya immediately felt as rude._

“This is exactly what I was worried about.”

_Zendaya felt confused, not really knowing what he meant._

“What? Why would you have been worried about this?”

“I just knew that this constant pressure would affect our work”

“You hadn’t even begun tutoring me when I got the part, I don’t understand...”

“Look Zendaya, I’m just trying to make you realize how important this is. You’re 16, you’re bright and there’s so much you can do, but to be able to do great things you have to get out of here. But as things are right now, you’re only making it harder for yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah I understand. There’s only like a week or two left of the run and then I can concentrate 100 percent.”

“And the finals are only in a couple of weeks too. Priorities, ok? I know there’s a show tomorrow night so what about we meet here on Saturday? Noon-ish.”

_Zendaya felt dread spreading through her body, she had been actively trying to avoid her tutor ever since her explosive conversation with Val a month earlier. She didn’t feel guilty, there was nothing to feel guilty about. But Val had hit a nerve. She knew how vicious high school gossip was and the last thing she wanted, or needed, was for rumours like that spreading around. It could ruin Mr. Platt’s reputation and she never wanted anything like that to happen._

_Mr. Platt could sense her hesitation and finally decided to ask that has been burning on his lips for the past couple of weeks._

“Did I ... Am I the reason you’re so reluctant to continue our sessions?”

His voice felt intense to Zendaya’s ears like he was craving an answer, yet he looked like he was afraid of what she might say.

“No, this has nothing to do with you Mr. Platt.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m still trying to get the hang of this teacher thing, I’m an over-sharer and I guess boundaries aren’t really my thing. So if there’s anything I’ve done to make you feel uncomfortable, I sincerely apologize.”

_Zendaya’s body, which had been tightly wound throughout the entire conversation, relaxed a bit and she gave her teacher a reassuring smile._

“Thank you, but apologizing is really unnecessary. I guess I’ve just been feeling a bit paranoid about us spending time together, even though it’s just studying. I know how rumours start and what effects they can have. I just didn’t want myself to become a liability to your career, I guess.”

“Never going to happen.”

_His smile was so sincere and warm that Zendaya forgot about the world for a second. Then the bell rang and she snapped back to reality._

“Who’s your next class?”

“Uhm, Mrs. Clark. World History. Wars and short guys with sketchy moustaches”

“Well, here’s a note explaining why your late.” He wrote a piece of paper and handed it to her. “Please don’t let your concern about stupid rumours stop you in excelling the way that I know you can. Meet me here, Saturday and let’s kick some quadratic formula ass.”

“I have no idea what that is.”

“ **Saturday.”**

“See ya Mr. Platt.”

“Bye Ms. Coleman.”

 

* * *

 

_Since Zendaya had not been able to catch Val after class, she waited until lunch. He was not in the lunchroom so she decided to look outside, it was an exceptionally hot November day so a lot of the students were eating on the grounds._

_She had only just walked outside when Deja and Dom came up to her, wanting to show her a new dance routine they had just come up with._

“Who are you looking for? We’re already here.” _Deja did finger snap in a Z motion and ended with her hand on her hip and Zendaya smiled at her friend._

“I can see you so that would imply that I’m looking for someone else.”

“Yeah well, Val is right over there, sitting comfortably with all his new friends.” _Dom pointed in his direction and Zendaya quickly pulled her friends hand to her side._

“Don’t make it so obvious, jeez Dom.”

“Well sorry, but he’s on his way here so Dej and I are just gonna over there cause awkward.”

“Hey girl ... s oh hey Val. How are you?”

_Zendaya smile was more of a grimace and yet it was stuck on her face. She knew she looked ridiculous and that was also the way she felt._

“Why were Bubbles and Blossom pointing at me?” _Val asked, one of his eyebrows arched to perfection._

“Who?”

“It’s a Powerpuff Girls reference.”

“Of course it is” _Zendaya half whispered to herself, lightly shaking her head at the random things that kept coming out of her friends mouth._

“So uh ... you wanted to talk to me in class right? Just as Mr. Platt came in?”

“Oh you heard that?”

“Yeah, sorry about just walking past you. I just thought we would be reprimanded if we would disrupt the class.”

“Yeah that sounds ... You know what, yeah I wanted to talk to you. How have you been doing? I haven’t seen you that much.”

“That kinda comes with wanting space. Just giving you what you wanted. It’s the least I can do.”

“About that, I think we don’t need any more space. Like, we need less space. We just need like a small room, like a broom closet or something.”

“You want me to join you in the broom closet?”

_Zendaya felt her cheek heat up and knew that she was a deep red shade._ “No! Not an actual broom closet, just a hypothetical one. I just don’t think that us not talking is good. It’s not good.”

_Val had a look of uncertainty on his face and turned his head to look at the table he had just been seated at. When he turned back to face Zendaya the look of uncertainty had been replaced by a look Zendaya could not read._

“Look Z, when you asked me for space I didn’t really have anyone else. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m not the best at making friends. But this past month I’ve opened myself up a bit more, I’ve not just been fixating on you like I have for the past few months ... and I’ve actually made some friends. Reluctantly at first but it’s been pretty great.”

“Friends? Are you talking about the airheads on the basketball team and their groupies? How?”

_Val was about to answer her when Coral, Derek and Biff walked up to them._

“Hey Val, practice time. We gotta head to the gym before the coach makes us do 100 pushups for being tardy” _Derek laid a hand on Val’s shoulder and Biff interjected_ “Tardy to the party, tardy to the party!”

“Practice? Why are you going to the gym to **practice**?”

“Oh don’t you know? Val’s the newest addition to our school’s basketball team. He’s really good” _Coral smiled dreamily at him and wrapped her arm around his bicep. Zendaya started at their arms and saw Val flinch at her touched._

“How? The trials were before you even enrolled? 

“Oh a couple of the guys were found with some enhancing drugs. Or recreational. I don’t know, I just know that they royally screwed us over and if Val here hadn’t come to the rescue ...

“I was kinda coerced ... “

“... there would not be a basketball this season” _Derek finished with a broad smile on his face._

_Zendaya studied Val’s face carefully. He was rigid, like a soldier going into battle. Coral still had her arm wrapped around his and was inched away from laying her head on his shoulder. She wanted to rip those bleached extensions off her head._

“You’re small.” _She knew it would offend him but she just could not fathom the idea of Val being on a team._

“I’m not that small. You’re just freakishly tall.”

“You don’t play well with others.”

......

“I’m trying.”

“Okay, this is fascinating stuff but gym. practice. now Cherkoskiy.

“It’s Chmerkovskiy” _Zendaya didn’t take her eyes off Val even when interrupting Derek_

“Yeah that’s what I said” _Derek rolled his eyes and nudged Val who nodded his head in Zendaya’s direction and headed off with his new friends_.

_Left behind was Zendaya, dumbstruck with a heavy feeling in her heart and unable to process what had just happened._


	12. Chapter 12

**December 16, 2013**

 

 

“You look like shit”

_Deja threw her bad on the table and took a chair opposite her friend. If looks could kill, Zendaya’s would’ve probably gotten her friend a trip to the nurse._

“I’m just saying, stringy hair is not a good look on you. And those bags under your eyes … ” _Deja squinted and leaned across the table to poke Zendaya’s cheeks._

“Will you please stop. I have the test of a lifetime in 20 minutes and I do not care how I look. Actually, I look like I’ve been studying hard. That should totally get me at least ten points.”

 _Deja laughed, shaking her head at her friend._ “I really don’t have time to explain to you how testing works. You’re not getting a participation trophy. Also hasn’t Mr. Platt been giving you EXTRA lessons. What have you been paying attention to if not the math?”

_Zendaya looked at Deja, who had a smug look on her face and an eyebrow arched so high that it looked like it was trying to escape her face. She grabbed her books and stood up, trying her best to smile sincerely at the self-satisfied teen._

“I’m gonna go now, and I’m gonna kick some algebra ass and you, **you** , are gonna wipe that smug look off your face or I will tell Anderson that you stole one of his boxer shorts at his last party and that you sleep with them under your pillow.” 

 _Deja eyes went wide_ “you would never!”

 _Zendaya smiled at her sweetly and started walking towards the hallway when she noticed a certain someone sitting alone at a table in the corner, wearing a black leather jacket with a notebook in hand._

_She shook her head and kept on walking but somehow she still ended up standing by his side, snapping him out of his reverie._

“Hey, aren’t you coming to the exam?”

Val’s head snapped up and he looked a bit out of it, like he wasn’t really present.

“Ehm, yeah I, eh, just doing some final revision,” he held up the notebook and cracked a small smile. Zendaya reciprocated it, trying her hardest to overlook the awkwardness that had formed between them in the past couple of months. She missed the passive-agressive love/hate relationship they had when he first moved here. Now it was just passive.

“So, uh, I saw you at the game last week. Well I mean of course you were there, you were playing but I mean, you were good. Very good.”

 _Val smiled brighter and Zendaya saw a light in his eyes she hadn’t seen in a long time. It made her feel all warm and tingly inside, the fact that she could make his eyes smile._  

“Thanks. I’ve actually been doing okay. It had been such a long time since I played, not since ….” _he stopped abruptly and looked down at this fingers that he was rapidly rubbing together. He didn’t look back up when he started talking again,_ “I just thought that I wouldn't enjoy anything again but moving here has made me realize that …” _he raised his head and looked at Zendaya_ “ … maybe I'm becoming who I used to be, or someone better. At least someone I’m actually proud to be.” 

_He stood up and grabbed his bag off the floor, hesitantly pulling an item out of it, something gift wrapped._

“I know this week is gonna be crazy with exams and we probably won’t get to see each other a lot so I just wanted to give you this now, so you would actually get it.”

_He handed her the present._

 “I was gonna give you it after the exam but hey, there’s no time like the present. Get it?” _His right hand was down by his side, his fingers furiously tapping on his leg. He was nervous. **Fuck he was nervous.**_

Zendaya’s heart sank and she looked at him apologetically. “I didn’t get you anything. 

“No, no, I didn’t get you this just to get something back. I just saw it and immediately thought of you, like you’re just the first thing I think about,” _he realized how it sounded and even though it was true, he couldn’t risk it_ “eh when I saw that I mean, when I saw that you were the first I thought about.” 

_Zendaya leaped into his arms. It was sudden and fast and the impact was hard and yet he felt himself melt into her hug with each passing second. Her hair smelled like mango and lime and he had to fight every fiber of his body to not inhale her scent because that would make him look like a creepy weirdo._

_Val could feel his face heating up and he knew that if he didn’t let go that his face would look like one of those cherry tomatoes his mom loved so much. He pulled himself away from her but just as he was about to regain his composure and the distance between them, he stopped. He stopped inches from her face. He knew this was a bad idea. They were standing in the corner of the cafeteria and they weren’t the only ones there. Yet everything about this felt right. His life felt right for a change. And then the bell rang. 5 minutes. Zendaya was startled and she dropped back, looking around her, looking at everything but him._

_Val took the hint and grabbed his bag off the table._ “Look, I gotta find Derek before the exam starts, I don’t know if there’s practice later or not so, gotta deal with that. I’ll see you in there?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Ok”

“Yeah ok. Hey Val, I don’t know if I said it but thank you, for the present.”

“Thank me when you open it.” _And with that he walked into the hallway, a small smile grazing his lips and fear, anticipation and hope swirling in his chest._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is two years old today. I didn't realize it until after I wrote the chapter, might write another one and post in the evening cause this doesn't feel celebratory enough!
> 
> Celebratory is the hardest word in the English language btw. Took me like 11 attempts to get it right.

**December 25, 2013**

 

_08:18 am_

 

_He looked at the a box that laid under the small plastic tree his mother had bought this Christmas. They had always celebrated Christmas at their house even though they were Jewish. His mom had always said that she did it because of him and his brother but he knew she loved it as well. She loved the lights and the Christmas carols and the decorations and the candy. And what she loved most of all was doing all those things together with her husband and her two sons._

_But now it was just them. He could feel the anger flaring up in his chest but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was not going to let anger engulf him, not today._

_He grabbed the box and looked at the label._

**Let's start again by going back to the beginning.**

**I love you and Merry Christmas.**

**\- Mom**

_He stared at the card and what was missing. He would never get used to seeing the space normally occupied by his father, being empty. It was not mom & dad anymore, his favorite green arm chair, that his mom had insisted on moving from New York, hadn't been sat in since last January. His mom would excessively dust it, like she was preserving it for him. Val sometimes wanted to ask her why she didn't just put plastic covers over it but he bit his tongue. She didn't deserve that but he just wanted her to face it. To face it that his dad wasn't returning. He was gone. He was dead. _

_His eyes slipped to another present. It was in the shape of a book and when he picked it up he could feel how light it was. It was his job to put the gifts under the tree and he was pretty sure that one had not been there yesterday. As he was about to read the label, he heard his mother's voice._

"It's from your brother."

_Val froze. His gripped tightened and he could feel the wrapping rip a bit._

"I don't want it"

"Val please, just open i...."

 _He turned to face his mother, a stony expression on his face._ "I. don't. want. it. You can take it or I can throw it away. That's your choice."  _His mom took the gift from his hand, a solemn expression grazing her features._

"Don't think I don't understand ..." _She took a shaky breath and then looked her son straight in the eyes._ "He was my husband, the man I chose, the man I promised to love in sickness and in health. He gave me everything I have, and that is you ... and your brother. You are both my sons and I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."

_Val was fighting back the tears. **How could she love him, after everything he did to them? How could she even think about him?**_

"Forgiveness is also for us, not just him. Nothing good can come out of being angry all of the time." _His mother took his face between her hands and kissed his forehead. A small smile was now grazing her lips but her eyes were still filled with sorrow, like they had been for the past 11 months._

"Oh no, I forgot ..."  _She went to the hallway and Val could hear her open a drawer. She returned with something that was gift wrapped and handed it to him._

"That lovely Zendaya girl came here ... oh I think it must've been two days ago? I was going out when the doorbell rang and put it in the hallway drawer so I wouldn't forget it in the car but oh well, seems I forgot it anyway!" 

__Val's fingers gently touched the wrapping paper. It was was the color of charcoal with copper stars scattered on it. He hadn't expected to get a present from her, it hadn't even crossed his mind. He felt surprised and nervous but the joy he felt holding the tiny package in his hands outweighed everything else. He could feel his mother's eyes staring a hole into his side and he finally raised his head to meet her gaze._ _

"Should we have Zendaya over for dinner?"

 _Panic spread through his whole body._ "No!" _He winced at how loudly he had protested_   _"_ I'm sorry mom but Zendaya and I are just friends. This is a friend gift."

"Did I imply something else with my invitation? Do friends not invite other friends over for dinner? My my, things have changed since I was your age."  _He could tell by his mom's dripping sarcastic tone that she did not believe him which normally would annoy him to no end but this time he didn't care. Cause maybe she wasn't just a friend? Maybe she was ... Maybe she just was._

"Breakfast is getting cold. I am not making a new batch of perogies!"

Val slipped his present from Zendaya into the pocket of his pyjama bottoms. He was going to open it later, some place a certain nosy mother couldn't watch. 

 

_08:44_

 

_Zendaya lay in bed as she had for the past hour. She hadn't been looking forward to this day, which was weird since Christmas was always her favorite holiday. Well, maybe it wasn't that weird considering last years Christmas._

_She could hear people walking up and down the stairs, closing and opening doors and talking way too loudly. Her grandmother, her aunt and her aunt's family had been staying with them for the past week and it was chaos. Her aunt had a husband that talked like he was a high school senior and two kids that acted like they were on a permanent sugar high. She loved her family but right at this moment she just wanted everyone to go away._

"Zendaya, honey"  _Her mother knocked before opening the door, sticking her head inside._ "Everyone's ready and waiting. Eli and Julian are driving everyone insane so I think it's time for you to make your entrance"  _Her mother's voice was comical but her eyes were begging Zendaya to get out of bed and go downstairs._

"I'll be there in two minutes. Think you can distract Laurel and Hardy for 120 seconds?"

"They're not funny enough for those nicknames."  _Zendaya and her mother both laughed, and Zendaya felt grateful that she had her mother. She decided to stop moping and that this would be a great Christmas and that she would enjoy herself. She got to the door when she remembered that she had a present hidden in her closet. Val's present. She decided to keep it there, as she wanted to open it without prying eyes and curious questions._

_When she got downstairs she greeted her grandmother with a kiss and hugged her aunt and uncle, while her nephews let out a war cry and dived for the presents under the tree. Before too long they had opened almost all of their presents while their mother tried to keep count of what they got from who, to no avail._

_Zendaya opened a couple of presents. She got a silver ring from her grandmother. It had a beautiful blue sapphire, her birthstone, and it was custom made. She tried it on and it fit her perfectly. Her aunt and uncle gave her a silver bracelet with the words, 'I Can't. I Have Rehearsal' engraved._

"Zendaya could you see me in the kitchen?"  _Zendaya was trying on a sloth onesie she had gotten from Deja when her mother spoke. She zipped it up and followed her mother to the kitchen where Claire handed her an envelope._

"I wanted to do this privately, come on open it"

_Zendaya ripped open the envelope and and unfolded the letter that had been inside. She scanned it and suddenly her eyes grew wide. **2 tickets to New York. 2 TICKETS TO NEW YORK!**_

"Mom are you SERIOUS?" _Zendaya didn't wait for an answer as she leapt into her mother's arms and squeezed her tightly. "_ This is the greatest things ever."

"Well, then maybe I shouldn't even bother telling you about the second part"  _and with that her mother pretended to leave the kitchen while Zendaya yelled after her._ "THERE'S MORE?"

 _Claire turned around, a wicked smile on her face._ "While we are in N.Y.C ..."

"Wow that's sooooo cool mom"

"Shush. While we are in New York, we are going to a Broadway show ..."

_An inhuman sound escaped Zendaya's lips and Claire thought her daughter's eyes were going to pop out of their sockets._

"... a Broadway show you can pick. Any of them. You decide. How's that for part two?"

 _Zendaya hugged her mom again, feeling like the luckiest girl in the entire world._ "And this is from both of you, you and dad?"  _Her smile faltered when she saw her mother hesitate._

"No sweetie, this one's just from me. I've been planning it for months now."

"Oh. It's just that ... I didn't see anything from dad, under the tree you know." _Zendaya wanted to cry. Had her own dad forgotten about her? This felt almost as bad as last Christmas when her parents decided to start Christmas morning with a huge fight which ended with them telling Zendaya they were getting a divorce._

"I know. He did say that he would come to LA before Christmas, you haven't heard from him?"  _Zendaya could see how her mother's face was becoming annoyed and that was the last thing she wanted on this day._

"Yeah I did and he said that he couldn't make it before Christmas but that he would send my present, maybe it got lost in the mail or something."  _She tried to come off as casual and after a minute her mother seemed to accept this explanation. Whether she believed it or not was another story. She hugged her mother again, thankful that her mother cared so deeply about her._

"I forgot to tell you, there was a letter for you by the door a couple of days ago. It has no postmark so I doubt it's from your father but you never know. It's on the table by the front door, I'm surprised you haven't noticed it yet"

"Wow thank you for this very late piece of information mom."

"Uhhh you're not allowed to be sarcastic when I've just bought us tickets to New York"

"Oh I'm supposed to go with yoooouuuuu maaaaaaan"  _Zendaya laughed as her mother swatted her arm teasingly._

"Can I be excused? I'm gonna go take a shower"

"Sure honey, Christmas lunch in an hour!"

_Zendaya went to the front door and took the letter from the table. She didn't recognize the handwriting but her mother was correct, there was no stamp on it so someone must've put it through the door. She ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. As she opened her bedroom door she looked at the clock on her nightstand, 10:14. She opened her closet and took out the gift from Val. She sat on her bed and looked at it, present in one hand, letter in the other._

 

_10:21_

 

 

_Val was finally in his bedroom again. His mother was taking her Christmas bath which meant three hours of soaps, bath bombs, a gallon of herbal tea and DIY aromatherapy. He took the gift out of his pocket, the one Zendaya had left for him. He had never been one to open presents carefully so he ripped the wrapping off and opened the small box. It was a bracelet. **A Bracelet?**_

_He took it out of the box and saw that it was a rope bracelet, and there was something else on it. **An Anchor.** A golden anchor. And he smiled. He smiled because in his mind she, Zendaya, was the only keeping him away from drifting into his own mind, into a world he wouldn't be able to get away from if he entered. _

**_She was his anchor._ **

 

_10:32_

 

_Zendaya put the letter down and an overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over her. She couldn't believe that he was gone. And she didn't understand why he hadn't told her, he hadn't even said goodbye. She thought they were friends. But they weren't though, they couldn't be. **It wasn't allowed.**_

_**But maybe it was OK now?** He had written his phone number at the bottom, told her that if she ever needed anything she only had to call. Because she was important to him. And she felt important to him. But she also felt like this wasn't right.  **No this definitely isn't right.**_

_She grabbed Val's present from the nightstand and opened it carefully, the wrapping was beautiful and maybe she would be able to use it again. She was holding a book, it was a day planner. But wait, it was so much more._

_On the front cover stood 'The Life of Zendaya Coleman, 2014 - 2024'_

**_10 years?_ **

_She opened it and looked through the pages. Some of the pages were empty, some of them had various dates and others were full of handwritten plans._

**_Zendaya Coleman graduates with honors._ **

**_Zendaya Coleman debuts on Broadway._ **

**_Zendaya Coleman nominated for first Tony._ **

**_Zendaya Coleman gets the Fields Medals (it's for mathematics, you'll get there one day)._ **

_There were pages and pages of wishes and achievements Val had written down, things he was sure she would accomplish in the future. There were notes and jokes and one-sided conversations he had written down for her. She could feel herself well up but this time it was because of the unbridled joy she felt while going through the gift, probably one of the most thoughtful she had ever received. The fact that he cared this much about her made her feel warm, like the sun had come through her bedroom window and was shining just for her, warming her face until she was sure she looked like a tomato. She had to remember to thank him for this. To really thank him._

_She laid the book back on the nightstand and grabbed a towel from her closet. She had promised her mom she'd be down for lunch. Before she got out the room she grabbed the letter, the one signed by Mr. Platt and put it in the drawer of her nightstand, promising herself not to think about it again._


End file.
